Why can't I just forget? *Open*

She walked outside and laid out on her back. She stared up at the sky, thinking. Why couldn't she just forget what had happened? The memory haunted her, she had nightmares almost every night. They were always the same thing. Her parents being taken from her by the flames, and she only making it out because someone helped her. Her screams... Her parents screams... She would never forget the screams... She stared up at the sky.

"Why... Why did you leave me?" She could feel her eyes watering, and she wiped them quickly. Alone, she allowed herself to feel, but when there were people around, she put up walls. She couldn't let anyone else in... She turned on her side and picked the grass, only to blow it away.

Ashton walked across the school grounds, conflicted. He was thinking of the two most important females in his life- Gabby and Sierra. He wanted to spend time with them both, but Gabby was in hiding right now, and he had been made the Secret Keeper for the Showers family.

Then there was the love of his life, Sierra. Ashton smiled just thinking of her name. She was the most wonderful girl he'd ever known. He couldn't believe that she'd fallen in love with him. And he loved her just as much. And he wanted to spend time with her as well. But how could he do both? Sierra couldn't be told where Gabby was, no one could. Ashton couldn't reveal anything to anyone.

He sighed and shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks. He came to the Black Lake and noticed something in the distance. It was a girl, and she was lying in the grass. She didn't look happy.

Ashton's big brother instincts kicked in and he headed over to her. He reached her and realized she was in his house.

"Excuse me? Are you all right?"

Words~ 197

She heard footsteps and, turning towards them a little, she recognized the person as Ashton Michaels. He was in her house. She felt herself stiffen slightly at the idea of answering the question. No one knew her story except her adopted parents, and Michelle. She thought of Michelle, who was always begging her to try and be social. She was always saying that isolating herself wasn't good for her, but it was the way she worked.

She shook her head, and opened her mouth to clarify, but her voice suddenly seemed to have stopped working. Her mind soon went to the memory once more, but this time all she saw were flames. In the back of her mind she heard the screams once more, and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to bring herself back from the memory. She soon found herself looking into the older boys face again, and sighed. Shaking her head once more, she leaned on her fist. She was hoping she could at least talk about it a little, but now it was almost a physical reaction. Why was the memory haunting her like this?

Ashton sat next to her. He thought he remebered her name. He tried to do that with the members of Slytherin house. You never knew when it would come in handy. Whether you needed a friend like this girl seemed to, just someone to talk to, or someone to complain about the Gryffindors and Harry Potter with.

Ashton didn't understand the problem with Harry. Never had. He liked the Gryffindors, and had been hoping when he'd come to Hogwarts that he'd be sorted to the Lions, because that was where his father had been. But the Sorting Hat had given him to the Snakes, and after a few weeks, Ashton had found that he was at home with them. He truly did belong there.

He remembered her name now, and felt even more concern. Especially since she'd only vaguely acknowledged him. His big brother instincts now fully on alert, he reached out and lay a hand on her shoulder.

"Cora, is there anything that I can help you with? I'm a great listener, if that's all you need. I could also be a shoulder to cry on, if you'd like?"

Words~ 197

She was shocked that Ashton knew her name. She never expected anyone to bother to learn her name. She was a loner, and probably the only person here without a friend. She didn't consider Michelle a friend, since they were sisters. Even then, they probably only got along because Michelle knew what happened. She knew why she had been put into the orphanage in the first place.

"I-I don't know..." She wondered if she'd be able to talk without running away. That's usually what happened when she tried to talk. She'd tried with Michelle and had run away. It had taken Michelle almost a year to get it out of her. "Have you ever had a bad memory... one that would never stop haunting you?" She wasn't sure why she was trying to explain... maybe it was because he reminded her of her birth dad?

Boy had he ever! Ashton could think of at least five things that he wished he hadn't done. And some of them haunted him a year after they had happened.

"I have as a matter of fact. I once got so drunk with another student that I got alcohol poisoning and spent the next day in the hospital." He had to admit though, it hadn't been all bad. "But if I hadn't done that, I probably wouldn't have met my surrogate sister, Gabby. I was in St. Mungo's the next day and she came looking for someone to play with."

He knew that wasn't what she meant, but the one thing that haunted him now, he never wanted to talk about. It had bothered him to this day, and he wished that he hadn't done it. He wished that he could talk about it, but he hadn't said a word. Not even the person closest to him, and that was his girlfriend. There was only one person that knew, and that was his father.

"I have done another thing, but only my dad knows about it. I haven't told anyone else."

Words~ 202

She had to admit, that must have been bad, but something good came out of it. She realized that that story was somewhat similar to hers, except for... well... She wished her memory was like that. She pulled her knees up and leaned her chin on them. She tried to speak, but once again she found it difficult. She sighed and tried again.

"When I was eight... my parents and I were on vacation and we were out at a store or some other public place. It caught on fire, and my parents were killed. I was hospitalized for two weeks. I still remember everything, which included me being dragged from the building, screaming for my parents." She put her face down into her knees. She was fighting back tears.

Ashton didn't know what to say about that. He'd lost his mother, but he'd been too young to remember her. She'd died when he was just a baby. What he'd been thinking of hadn't been her death though. He'd had nothing to do with that. It had taken until he was ten for his father to get that through his head, but he knew it was true now.

No, what he was thinking about was before he was started on his medication. He'd done something to his father that had earned him a total bare blistering of his backside. He'd been so cruel to his father and he now regretted it with all his heart. He'd apologized, but he felt bad about it to this day, and sometimes had dreams about it.

"I took a dare. I was dared to tell my father that I thought his job at the Ministry and his job here were trash. And I mean TRASH. I was to go on and on about this until I had totally run his work down. I did it, because I couldn't help myself. I had to do the dare or it would just have driven me crazy." He wrapped his arms around himself.

"I got myself into major trouble for it, and have regretted it since. I hurt my father beyond anything. I even have nightmares about it to this day."

Words~ 245

That sounded awful, she couldn't imagine dong that. To either of her sets of parents. Her birth parents, she missed them so much. She looked up at the sky, letting a tear fall as she remembered them. Her adoptive parents... they had done so much for her. They had given her a place that didn't upset her. She still holed up in her room though.

"I'm sorry..." She couldn't think of much else to say. She remembered how he knew her name, and wondered about it some more. Why had he bothered? She meant nothing to the people in her house. She was sure that the Professors didn't know who she was either. She was a nobody outside her family. "I was wondering... why do you know my name? I'm in no way important or special."

Ashton smiled. Of course she wouldn't know why he did what he did. He thought that everyone knew of his condition, but apparently not. He did it for a reason beyond just taking the dare. He'd had to take that dare. Until he'd been put on medication, he'd been unable to turn down a challenge, dare or bet. Physically unable. It wasn't a matter of not wanting to do it, he had to do it.

"I took the dare because I had to. I could try to fight against the whole thing, but it would be no use. I could deny the urges for a while, but eventually, it would get the better of me, and there was only one way to relieve them, and that was to go through with the dare, bet or challenge. It was the only way to make me feel normal." He smiled faintly at her.

"See I have a condition that makes me do things like that if I don't take my medication. This condition makes me completely bonkers. I'd clean everything to the point it would be so spotless that you could eat off it, and then I would clean it again. Everything had to be perfect. And I could not stand being dirty. I had to be cleaner than sanitized." He laughed lightly at that thought. He didn't think that there was such a thing, but he would have tried to find it if there were.

"The condition that I have is called OCD."

Words~ 264

As soon as he started talking about cleaning, she understood. OCD was something she knew about. She'd wondered that about the magical world, if they had the same conditions. She didn't know that anyone here had something like that. She thought Michelle had mentioned something about a Hufflepuff friend with Asthma... but she didn't really know. She nodded at Ashton.

"I've heard of that." She didn't know what else to say.

Ashton nodded. A lot of people had heard of OCD, or if they knew him but not of his condition, they looked it up, or asked him about it. Ash had been so reluctant to have the testing done, having fought being diagnosed until he was sixteen. But after he had, it had been such a relief to know why it was that he would brush his teeth for forty-five minutes, why he would have to have his closet in a certain order, a certain measurement between each item. And why he flipped out every time that he got remotely dirty.

When he'd started the medication and therapy, he'd found that he had so much more time on his hands. Time that he could spend with his friends, his family, and his girlfriend. The best part was that he was going to see Gabby this weekend; spending the whole time with her. He missed her so much! He was going to search for a game that he hadn't been able to locate in the attic. His father had told him he'd put most of Ashton's old toys up there when Ash had decided that he was too old for them.

"I still have a lot of the symptoms, but they are much easier for me to deal with now. I'll always need to fight against one thing or another, but if I don't let it control me anymore, I will be able to live a normal, happy life."

He hoped that she would talk to him about her troubles. But if not him, he knew someone that could help her. Someone that had been through so much in his short life as well. And that was his soon to be foster stepbrother. Hey! That was an idea!

"Cora, I know someone that might be able to help you. I don't know if you have a problem with Gryffindor house, but there is a sixth year there that has been through a lot of abuse in his life, and has decided that he wants to be a counselor for troubled magical teens. His name is Max Xandex."

Words~ 365

"Well that's good." She wasn't a very good conversation person, and couldn't think of anything to say. When he mentioned a Gryffindor named Max Xandax she shook her head. She didn't know him, nor did she have a thing against Gryffindors. She had never been abused, but she had been told that what she went through was trauma.

"I've never met him, and no I don't have a problem with Gryffindors." She didn't know if it would work though... she still wasn't sure how she was able to tell Ashton. Why was she able to talk to him like this? She shrugged. "If you think that will help... my sister Michelle always wants me to talk to someone..."

Ashton thought for a moment. He didn't think Max would mind if he told Cora some of what had happened to him when he was growing up. He told people when he needed to, anyway, and if Max had a problem with Ashton telling the story, then he would more than likely let his displeasure be known.

"Max was born into a really well-to-do family. He was the only boy. Sort of the Golden Child. But when he was four, something happened and his magical powers came into his life. His family was against anything that was different, so they started to hate him. An innocent little child that did nothing wrong, and they hated him. When it came time for him to go to Hogwarts, he went to Diagon Alley alone, the same with the Hogwarts Express. When the Holidays would come around, his parents would write letters wanting him to stay at the school. In the summer, he would actually be at home, but he had to stay in his room if someone came to visit. He was actually locked in his room, with no food, no liquids, and he was not allowed to come out to use the bathroom."

Ashton couldn't imagine the horror of having to endure that, every day for years. He had been raised in a loving family, and was going to be adding to that family when his father married Cathy Radcliffe.

"Max went home for Christmas, and told his father, with his chin held high that he had realized he is bisexual. He was instantly disowned, but someone else from the Gryffindor house took him in and now he is basically their foster son."

Words~ 286

She was speechless, that was a terrible thing to do! To lock him up like that, was just horrible! She looked up at the sky, and dropped her knees into what they had called "Criss Cross Applesauce" in the Orphanage. She always looked up at the sky when she was thinking. She sometimes thought about this, was someone in charge of this? Looking down and deciding whose life they were going to ruin that day?

"People are horrible." She pulled her knees back up to her chest and put her arms around them. People were terrible, which was why she had chosen to cut herself off from the world. If she didn't talk to people, then she wouldn't get hurt. "That's why I don't normally talk to people. If I don't try to make friends, I don't have to worry about getting hurt." The people who had made Ashton take that dare, Max's parents, the people who had insisted on saving her while her parents burned.

She felt tears come to her eyes and turned away. Sh wasn't going to let him see her cry. She had never seen a Slytherin cry before, never in her entire life. It showed weakness, and she was determined to prove that she wasn't weak.

Ashton saw her tears and felt bad at once. He'd not meant to make her feel worse, he'd just wanted to explain about Max's history. The Gryffindor was much happier now that he was away from his parents and sisters. That was the important thing. Another was that Ashton see if he could get these two to talk to each other. Cora needed to talk to someone, seriously. And he had the feeling that Max would be the most help to her.

"Cora, I can talk to Max and see if he'll meet with you? I think it would help you to talk to him."

He reached out and touched her shoulder. He wanted to be her friend, if she would let him. Ashton had always felt protective of young girls that were troubled or sad. He wanted to be like a big brother to them. And Cora was now falling under that category. He would help her in any way that he was able. He remembered her asking about how it was that he knew her name.

"You asked how I knew your name? I've made it a point to learn all the Slytherins' names. You never know when you'll need a friend. And I want to be yours. Please?"

Words~ 217

He wanted to be her friend? He... wanted to be her... friend. That was a first, though she'd never opened up to anyone before. Then there was Max... she supposed it would help her to talk to him, if he knew a bit about this. She knew that just telling someone wouldn't make the nightmares stop though.

"I think it'd be a good idea if I talked to someone." She was still pondering over the whole friend thing. She wasn't any good at making friends. "And... sure. I'd love to be friends..." She still had her thoughts on the nights though. She knew that no amount of talking could keep the nightmares away.

"You wouldn't happen to know how I could go through the night without nightmares... would you?"

Ashton hadn't had much experience in the nightmare department. His bad dreams had usually been about what would happen if he didn't do exactly what his OCD told him to do. Of course, he didn't have those dreams now unless he didn't take his medication, but they still had been pretty bad.

She probably didn't want to hear about his dreams though. She needed someone to tell them about, and that's where Max would come in. Or him, if she would let him. He didn't want to force her to tell him about her dreams, that had to be her decision. He hoped that she would eventually trust someone enough to let them into what she was feeling, or what she was going through at that time. Friends were a good thing to have. Especially when you were feeling down, sad, or if in Cora's case, more alone than anyone needed to be.

"Cora, I can take you to see Max right now if you want? I know where he is. He's in the same place everyday around this time."

Words~ 189

Yes, she did want to go see him, but would she be able to talk to him? She had trusted Ashton, but how far could she go? She wanted to be able to, but she was scared. One more person that she could be hurt by. No matter how it happened... would she close up? What if she closed up like she did with Michelle?

"Alright... but..." She stopped there, unsure of whether to ask. "Will you stay? At least the first time we talk? I don't want to close up... If I do, he won't be able to help me. And since you already know..."

Ashton nodded. If she wanted him to stay, he would do so. But there was one more little piece of information about Max that she needed to know before he took her to see him.

"Cora, I would be happy to stay, if you want me to. But Max is nothing to be afraid of. He is a really nice guy, and one of my better friends. I suggested him to you because he is one of the people that I trust beyond all others, save my father and girlfriend." He stretched out his long legs in front of him and stared above him at the sky for a moment. He wondered how to tell her this last bit of information. It might influence her decision to actually talk to the Gryffindor, or to just walk away and never talk to either one of them ever again.

He turned his head to look at Cora.

"There is just one more thing that you should know about Max Xandex. The family that he is staying with, his foster family? The mother is divorced from her first husband. I know you think that has nothing to do with him, but it actually does. Because if she hadn't divorced her husband, she wouldn't have met my father, and they wouldn't now be engaged and expecting a baby." He smiled warmly at Cora.

"Max is going to be my stepbrother."

Words~ 239

She really didn't know what to say to that. Congratulations? Awesome? Incredible? Although that definitely was a good reason to trust him. Also, she wasn't afraid of him, she wasn't really afraid of anybody. She was just nervous, and if she was afraid of anything, it was getting hurt. She had a feeling that she could trust him though.

"That's great." She was truly happy for him about that and she hope she showed it. She may not have sounded it, but hopefully there was an expression on her face that showed it. "So... ready when you are." She hoped she didn't sound desperate but she also was hoping that this would stop the nightmares. If not... she may have to put a silencing charm on her bed. Although, her dorm mates may already be doing that.

Ash smiled at Cora. He'd sort of expected that sort of reaction, but he'd not expected her to still want to see Max. He didn't move from his spot on the ground however. He knew where Max was, and he knew where he was going to be within the next few minutes. He looked up to the castle and shaded his eyes. She had to be wondering what he was on about. He had said that he would take her to talk to Max, but the truth was, Max was going to be meeting up with them in just a little bit.

"All right, if you want to talk to Max, just be patient. I know for a fact that he walked out of the castle a little bit ago. He's going to be going for a walk and that walk will be taking him right along the same path he takes every day. That path runs right along here as a matter of fact." He looked around himself, then back at her.

He didn't want to run the risk of her taking off, but if she was going to change her mind about talking to the Gryffindor, now would be the time. She only had a few more minutes and he was going to be coming up on them. As a matter of fact, Ashton saw his future stepbrother coming around a clump of trees now. He raised his hand to get Max's attention.

"There he is now."

Words~ 255

She looked over at where he waved and couldn't help but wave a little as well. May as well make her presence known right? It wasn't like most people noticed her anyways. She watched Ashton wave, and kept wondering if she'd ba able to tell him. She was also wondering why, she had been able to tell Ashton hadn't she? What was one more person right?

"It's creepy how you knew that." She smiled a little bit and kept running it over in her head. He was just one more person that would know. She could feel the fear though the fear of being hurt. She saw the shop again, and the flames. She tried to push the thoughts away but they kept coming back. She turned her head, and bit her lip. She didn't want this memory to take control of her life anymore. She had to, she wanted to, and she was going to do this. She turned back around to the direction of Max and Ashton.

Max walked out the front doors of the castle. He was going for one of his usual walks along the grounds, and was a bit lost in thought. He'd grabbed an apple from the kitchens to eat on his excursion. He ate it absently, not really noticing that he'd almost finished the whole thing until he ended up almost swallowing a seed. He frowned and spit it into his palm.

Guess I'm done with the apple he thought, putting the core into a pocket of the bag he'd brought with him. Also inside the bag were some art supplies. He wanted to do some sketching while he was out today. He'd not done much lately and wanted to give Cathy and her fiancé a present to celebrate their upcoming wedding and child.

Max had been a little worried that Oliver wouldn't want him around when he and Cathy married, since he wasn't a blood relative of the family, but his fears had been unfounded. He'd been warmly welcomed by his foster mother's new love, and now felt as if the man was like his father.

Max came up to a small bunch of trees that lay near the Black Lake, part of the path he usually took when he was out like this. Today he noticed two figures near the edge of the Lake, and one of them waved in greeting. Max grinned. It appeared to be Ashton, who was going to be his foster stepbrother. The person that was with him waved a bit as well as Max drew closer, and he noticed that she looked a little sad, but covered it with a smile.

It wasn't fooling him. He'd been through so much with his birth family that he now had a bit of a sixth sense about people that needed help. And this girl was one of them. He reached them and looked the girl over. He wanted to help her with her problem, but needed to know what it was before he could do anything.

"Hello," he said. "I'm Max. I see you know Ashton, but don't believe everything he tells you about Gryffindor. We're not all that bad." He smiled to show that he was joking. Ashton had never made it a secret that he had no problem with any other house in the school.

"I'm sorry, but you look like you've lost your best friend. Is there anything I can do to help? I'm a fantastic listener."

Words~ 434

Max

"I guess I do look like that don't I? It's hard to lose something I never really had though..." She looked at her hands and gulped. She just wanted to get it out there before she had a chance to close up. "I've just been having difficulty forgetting something that happened a long time ago." She wasn't sure how to bring it up right now... but she really wanted to get it over with.

She was trying hard to push the memory back. Why, why now? She sighed and cleared her mind for a moment. "Well... Ashton says you can help..." She decided to wait for him to as what was bothering her. Unless he'd already done it... she wasn't good at seeing those things.