Goodbye *open*

Cambria was done crying about this. She had spent all night sobbing into her pillow, so now she knew it was time to move on. It was hard to believe that she would ever fully recover from the heartbreak she was now experiencing, but she forced herself to believe it. If she didn't believe she would survive, she probably wouldn't.

She finished writing the letter, then made her way slowly up the owlery steps, as if she was on death row. In a way, she almost was. Part of her heart was dying, and she may never get it back. Saber was her first love, and she was officially ending it with this letter, even though it had been over for quite some time now. And it hurt more than anything that she had ever been through before. But she thought of it like a band aid. She had to do it, and it had to be done quickly in order for the wound to begin the healing process.

She made it to the top of the tower and sighed heavily. This was it. She was giving him up for good. And after this, there was no turning back. She opened up the letter, took a deep steeling breath, and read it over to herself once more.

Dear Saber,

I hardly know how to begin, but I suppose I should just start. You and I have been through so much together. We started out as only a crush on my part. When we met in the kitchens, I almost thought it was a dream. I wanted to know who you were from the moment I saw you. Then when the moment finally came, I realized that all the waiting had been worth it. You are so much better than I ever could have imagined. You are kind, sweet, strong, smart, passionate...everything I ever wanted and more. And I will always be grateful for all that you have taught me. But we both know that it hasn't been working between us recently.

I love you so much, Saber...but I don't know if you feel the same for me. And I cannot keep putting my life and my heart on hold for you. I understand you are busy, and I do not judge you for that. But I can't go on like this. I am so sorry...but it is over between us.

I will never stop loving you, Saber Shields. And the moment you are ready for me, I will be there. But for now...you and I will just have pleasant memories, and nothing more.

I love you. And again...I'm sorry.

Love,

Cambria

She knew most people would think it cowardly of her not to break up with him in person, but there was no way she could have looked into his eyes to say everything she had in her heart, not to mention the fact that she hadn't seen him in months. She couldn't get him to talk to her on a normal day, how was she supposed to get to him when she wanted to end things? She wasn't a coward...she was just lost. And she didn't want to go through any more heartbreak than she already had gone through. It was better for them both if things were just...over.

She closed up the letter, kissed it quickly, then sent it off with a small, tawny owl.

"I love you, Saber," she whispered.

And then she burst into tears, not able to pay any attention to the fact that someone else had just come into the tower with her.

Cambria

Finally! Gareth rubbed his eyes tiredly as he put down his quill. He was done with the report that he'd been assigned by the Wizengamot, and since it was due the next morning, he folded the parchment, sealed it, and started off to the Owlery to send it. He stopped to say hello to a few of his friends that were in the year below him, answering a few questions about whether they still were going to hang out that evening, how Sam was doing, and what it was like living on his own.

When he was out of the Slytherin dorm, and up onto the ground floor, Gareth heaved a sigh of relief that he'd managed to get this blasted report finished before the deadline. If he hadn't, it would have looked bad on his report. Less than three months in training and he'd failed to finish an assignment? The thought made him shudder as he desperately wanted to be in the Wizengamot. He wanted to be a part of the system that made the Wizarding laws. He thought that there were a few that needed to be ammended, but he'd have to become a fully fledged member, and then get some seniority before he was able to go that far.

He'd forgotten what a long climb it was to the Owlery. He didn't know if it was just him, or the actual climb that was making him light-headed, but it was also making him dizzy. Not so much that he was going to pass out, but he decided that he needed to head up this way a bit more often, especially since he was going to be running all over London soon, making preperations. Speaking of the preperations, he needed to talk to Sam about her side of it.

He looked out a window just outside the door to the owlery, seeing a small tawny flying off. It was early, but he didn't know why the owl would have been hunting this late. It must have been taking a letter out for someone. He didn't want to bother the other person if they were going to be waiting for their response. Then he heard someone sobbing. It sounded like someone that he knew.

Entering the Owlery, he learned that it was indeed someone he knew, someone that he'd known for almost fourteen years. It was his sister. And she was crying about something. And though it broke his heart to hear his sister so brokenhearted, he hesitated to ask what had been so upsetting to her. Then he remembered the owl, and the fact that Cam hadn't seen Saber for a long time now. He immediately crossed to her and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm here, Bri. Gareth is here."

Gareth

Cambria barely registered what was happening when her oldest brother wrapped his arms around her, but she latched onto him as if her life depended on it. She held on as tight as she could and sobbed against his broad chest. She could barely catch enough breath in her lungs to remain standing, but in the back of her mind, she knew that Gareth would catch her if she collapsed. Her only focus was to hold her brother and cry. Those two things were all she could allow herself to think about right now.

If she cried much harder, she would make herself sick. But she felt that she almost deserved that right now. How could she have let herself fall so hard and so deep, for a person who obviously hadn't cared for her all that much to begin with? She had dreamed about their wedding, the possible children they would have together, future plans for his restaurant, or her training in art therapy. Why did she have to love him so much? Why in the hell had she let herself fall for him, body and soul?! God, she really was going to throw up.

"Gar...it's over. I broke up with him," she cried. "It's over...."

And then a fresh torrent of tears overwhelmed her and she couldn't stop the chain reaction that followed. Her sobs became so powerful that she began to choke on them, and that turned to gagging. But she would not vomit...no, she was too strong for that. Not to mention the fact that she hated throwing up. She turned away from Gareth long enough to be sure that she had control over her stomach, then she turned back and snuggled herself against his chest again, still crying, but not overwhelmingly so. At least she could breathe now; mostly.

"Gareth, I need...you to do something for me," she whispered.

"I need you to fix this. Tell me how to take the pain away. I'll do whatever you say, just please...make this better. It needs to stop hurting. Please tell me how to make it stop hurting."

He was the only one who could fix this. If he couldn't make it better, she had no faith in anything anymore. He was the strongest person she knew, or maybe he tied with her father. But Gareth understood what she was dealing with more than anyone because he was hopelessly in love as well. Yet, he also had a fiance who would stay with him. Saber had been gone long before that letter had ever been sent. She had put her entire heart in his hands, and now he was gone. And her heart had gone with him. She didn't think she would ever be whole again, not unless Gareth could fulfill her wish and make all the pain disappear. It was the only option left.

Gareth didn't know what to do. His sister was asking the impossible of him. He didn't know what to do for her, other than be there to hold her when she needed him to be. That he could do, and maybe explain that he did understand the pain of being in love with someone, and not being able to be with them. He certainly did know that pain. He'd felt it until the moment that Sam had told him that she loved him. but until that second, he'd felt that he'd never be with her, ever. But his story had a happy ending. He didn't know what was going on with Saber. In fact, he'd not even seen him around the school for the last few months.

He hugged Cambria tighter to his chest, trying to comfort her the best that he could. He loved his sisters so much, and he felt horrible that she had to feel this pain now. The pain of first love was always the worst. It was the first time that you gave your heart to somone else, and the scrape that occured when you were seperated from that person, it took what seemed to be a life time to heal. If it ever entirely did.

"Bri, I can't take away the pain. Only time can do that. I know you are hurting right now, and I'm sorry that there is nothing I can do to soften that. He was your first love. It's going to hurt for a while, but I promise, it will get easier over time. It will, Cami."

He pulled back from her and brushed the tears from her eyes.

"Believe it or not, I do understand what you are going through. It may not seem like it, and the ending might be different, I don't know, since we certainly haven't reached the ending of your story."

He didn't want to tell her yet that there could possibly be happiness in her future, since he didn't know that for sure, and he didn't want to get her hopes up that Saber would come back when he didn't know if the young man would ever return. The only thing he could do was be there for his sister, and be there for her while her heart tried to heal.

Cambria felt her heart break all over again. He couldn't fix it. He couldn't take her pain away. All of his words were probably pretty, and probably meant something real...especially because he was calling her Bri. Normally that would have made her smile, but in this moment, she couldn't feel it. She only knew that from now on, she would be alone. Because no one would ever love her the way Saber had. And no one would ever fit with her the same. She was in shock, and she wanted to throw up. But nothing happened. She was just there, frozen. She sat down against the wall of the owlery, not caring where she sat or what happened next.

She didn't look up at Gareth, didn't try to see if the owl had returned yet from delivering her letter. She didn't even want to breathe anymore, but that couldn't really be helped unless she purposely did something about it. And she was too weak and lost to think about hurting herself. She was just apathetic now. Meals would come and go, classes too. Nothing would phase her. She would just sit here until she faded away. The only sign that she was still there were the tears still falling in silent droves down her cheeks. But even those would freeze in time sooner or later. And unless Gareth forced her to do something, she was just there. Forever. Or at least until one of the prefects or Filch found her. Then they would have to figure out what to do with this void little space that was once a happy Hufflepuff.

"You don't have to stay," she whispered. "I'm sure you have somewhere to be. I have nowhere to be right now. Except here. I'll be here. As long as I have to, I'll be here."

She wasn't even making sense anymore. If her parents had seen her like this, they would have immediately called the psych ward at St. Mungo's. And maybe Gareth would do that too. No, actually, they would probably only do that if they could see into her head. Not until they realized the depth of her sorrow would they want to save their little girl before she tried something drastic. But Cam knew she had time. She wouldn't even think of what to do next until she wasn't frozen here anymore. And that could take forever before a person got out of that type of apathy. Then maybe when it passed, she would see if she could fly from the owlery window. Stranger things had happened before, right? It wasn't likely...and she didn't know what she hoped for more. If she flew, she could move on from this. If not, well...then she wouldn't care anymore. And that sounded pretty good to her.