A Perfect Princess (Kathleen)

Kathleen watched her baby sit on Sirius's lap and felt a pang of twinge slam into her heart. It was just something she had always wished she would have seen before with...shaking her head she broke off the very thought that was running through her mind. It was not good to dwell on the past, and forget to live. At least that was what Minister Dumbledore kept telling her...it was something he had said to her not long after her first love had died...and even know she could not forget the words. She smiled gently as her little one hopped down and excused herself to the loo. She was so proud of her baby, she would be a heart-breaker when she grew up...beautiful, polite, and have the largest heart in the world.

"She has taken to you quite well," she said softly. "She's very open to people, extremely trusting...sometimes it is rather unnerving. I fear that she may be taken advantage of when she is older. Jacob had always been so tender hearted as well."

Cringing at his name she sighed and blinked fiercely. His death was so fresh in her mind that she could just barely stand it. She just needed to focus on Sirius, he alone could always keep her from breaking down in tears. Turning back to him she smiled once more.

"You would have really liked Jacob...he was so much like you Siri."

Sirius smiled. He wasn't sure he could exactly be described as tender-hearted. Strong-willed was more like it, although if James was any indication the two could co-exist quite well.

"James was like that as well. Tender-hearted. Never met a stranger. I had a row with him once about it. It was the summer after our second year. We wandered down Knockturn Alley after Peter Pettigrew - do you remember him? Anyway, he dared us to go, so we did, and James tried to make friends with a man I'm pretty sure was a vampire. He invited us up to his flat, and if I hadn't been there to stop him, I think James would have gone. The idea that there might be people in the world with bad intentions was completely foreign to him. Then he shouted at me the whole way back to Diagon Alley. Said I was being rude. Rude! Can you imagine it? Here I'd probably just saved him from being eaten, and he was worried I'd hurt the poor vampire's feelings!"

Sirius gave a small laugh at the old memory, but couldn't shake the sadness. "It's still hard to believe he and Lily are gone sometimes. That sounds silly, doesn't it? I mean, it's been how many years? Thirteen? They've been dead for longer than I even knew them. I shouldn't still be hung up on them, but I miss them all the time. Time moves differently in Azkaban, I think. It doesn't seem like so much of it could have possibly gone by. It seems like Harry should still be a baby and they should still be alive. They were brilliant parents, James and Lily. They doted on Harry completely. Sometimes I think that's what hurts the most, watching Harry grow up when they never got to, and knowing he was robbed of growing up with them. But he's so like them. Both of them. You wouldn't believe it, if you met him. He's a great kid. Makes it all a bit more bearable.

"It's odd, though. I still except to see them sometimes. Especially at Hogwarts. Working there is fantastic. I never knew I could love a job so much, but it's hard being back there, too. Sometimes I expect to bump into him in the corridors. It's like being haunted, only there's no ghost. There's only me."

Sirius scraped the spoon against the bottom of his empty ice cream cup just to give himself something to do. "Only me." He looked up. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so morose. So tell me about your Jacob. I don't think I remember him. Did he go to Hogwarts?"

Kathleen felt a small lump form in her throat. Talking about Jacob always hurt so much, even with her little Becca talked about him it just made her heart want to break off into a million more pieces. The day her beloved had died she had not even been permitted to cry. Her darling had been with her, and Kathleen refused to let her baby see her ever shed a tear. She just could not talk about Jacob, not without feeling like her chest might rip open and all of her blood might spill out.

"He had been at Hogwarts with me..." she nodded. "However we didn't really meet till after school...after...after your imprisonment..."

Kathleen would never tell Sirius that she had been waiting for him during their school years. She had always prayed for the day he would become less dependent on James Potter and more dependent on her. Of course that day never came and after hearing that he had been sent to Azkaban Kathleen got tired of waiting. She would never say that Jacob was a rebound, she had genuinely loved him...but in the beginning it had seemed that way.

"He...he was very kind and sweet..." she continued, glancing down at the table. "A perfect gentleman...funny...just wonderful..."

She broke off, unable to say anymore and she soon found her eyes swimming with moisture. Looking away briefly she quickly blinked and bit back all the tears that had been forming in her heart the past two years of her life without Jacob Rose.

Sirius fumbled for a moment for something to offer Kathleen, until his hands found a napkin. He gave it to her, kicking himself for making her cry. It seemed like an innocent question when he asked it. An obvious question, even. Who didn't like to talk about the people they loved, even when they were dead? Sirius loved talking about James. Sometimes, when he got to telling the old stories, he forgot for a moment that James was gone.

But on the other hand, he hated to talk about Regulus. Hated to remember the way his brother had looked at him, his eyes full of betrayal, the last time they spoke. The awful things Regulus had screamed at him as he was walking out the door forever. The even more awful things Sirius had screamed back. The way they spent Sirius' last year at Hogwarts carefully avoiding each other's eyes, each sitting with their back to the other just to keep from seeing one another. Just so they could continue to pretend the other one didn't exist.

It was stupid, really, and if Sirius had known then that they'd never have the chance to reconcile, he'd have marched straight across the hall - expectations be damned - and told Reg that he hadn't meant any of it and that he still loved him, and that all he wanted was for them to be friends again. Sometimes Sirius liked to imagine that he had done that. That he'd forgotten all his anger and his stupid pride, and at least tried to make up with the boy who was always caught in the middle of the two cyclones that were Sirius and his parents. And in his imaginings, Regulus said he was sorry, and that he hadn't meant any of it, and that he loved Sirius, too. And they hugged, right there in the middle of the Great Hall, like the whole world wasn't watching. And then maybe Sirius could have saved Reg. Then maybe he wouldn't have become a Death Eater. Then maybe he'd still be alive. Sometimes Sirius thought he ruined everything he touched. Cyclone, indeed.

Sirius reached across the table to squeeze Kathleen's hand once more. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. It's none of my business. Only I thought, well, I thought you might like to talk about him. I'm sorry. I really am. Don't cry, Leena. Please don't cry."

Kathleen bit her lower lip and blinked sending several tears down her cheeks. His pleading for her not to cry just made the tears fall faster, and she had no reasoning behind it. God, she felt like a fool. Crying for her husband who has been gone for two years. She knew that she needed to be strong for Becca, and yet here she was making a complete idiot out of herself in front of Sirius Black and potentially scaring her daughter if she saw that her mummy was now in tears.

Accepting the napkin she dabbed her eyes and swallowed hard. The warmth from his hand encased her own and she squeezed it. It felt so nice to have someone's hand in her own once more, it had been so long since she felt that. Kathleen could not remember the time she had held a man's hand that wasn't her father's or a relative of some sort. Sniffling a bit she took in a deep breath and tried to center herself.

"Don't apologize," she said gently, her voice quivering just a bit. "It wasn't an awful question...I...I just find myself...hesitant to talk about Jacob...it...it hurts me..."

Kathleen hated admitting that something actually hurt her. She hated it so much that she did everything in her power to avoid those words in any sense they came in.

"I did love him," she continued. "And...and I do think of him...just...just talking about him makes it all too real for me. It reminds me that no matter how much I want it...he never really will be here with me..."

Sirius nodded to show he understood. He placed his other hand against hers, cradling it. He wished he knew what to say, but he didn't. The silence seemed to stretch for hours, though it was probably only half a minute. His throat felt tight as well, thinking of all the people he'd lost at a young age. His parents. Uncle Alphard. Regulus. Mr. and Mrs. Potter. James and Lily. Every person he'd ever considered family was dead, except for Harry. A person wasn't supposed to lose so much so fast.

"I know what you mean," he finally said. "It's hard to let go of the people we love, isn't it? When my brother died, I was furious. Stupid, isn't it? Being angry with a dead man. But I was. I was angry that he went off and died. And especially angry that he did it before I had a chance to make up with him. Angry that he got to go off and be dead, and I was left here with a lifetime full of regrets." Sirius shook his head. "It isn't fair, is it?"

Another long silence stretched out before them, and Sirius let out a small laugh. "We're a pair, aren't we? We should be reminiscing and laughing over old times, not talking about sad things." If James were here, he'd have something to say about that, Sirius was sure. He could almost hear him now, telling him he was the only man in the world who could make a woman cry within half an hour of meeting her.

Sirius tried to think of some funny story, something, anything that might make her laugh, but his mind drew a blank. All he could think of was the way he used to watch her across the Great Hall as she talked with her friends, or the way her hair blew in the breezes from the lake, or how seeing her smile always made him feel a little better after a hard day. James said she fancied him, but Sirius knew better. They were friends. Only friends. Suddenly a memory did pop into his head. He was out climbing trees with the Marauders when he saw Kathleen on the grounds and hit upon a brilliant idea.

"Do you remember the day I chased you around the greenhouses with a spider? Want to hear a secret? There was no spider. I only told you I had one so you'd scream."

Kathleen's eyes widened! She could not believed he had remembered that! Of course she did, it had been something that scared her within an inch of her life. And even though he had been chasing her around and she claimed she would kick her ass as soon as she got the chance she had remembered laughing at him the entire time they raced through the greenhouses. There were so many fond memories she had of Sirius, some they shared and some were just of her watching him from little hiding places she had chosen at the school.

"I do remember that Padfoot," she laughed. "And no one helped...James just sat there and watched and you scared me within an inch of my life!"

Still holding his hand she gently caressed her thumb over it. His palms were so warm and she just loved the feeling of them in her own. Sirius was so warm, everything about him radiated warmth. That was something that she would always admire about him...something that she would always find herself loving.

"School was fun," she smiled. "You made my day every time I saw you Sirius, you will never know how much I needed you during the school year."

And Kathleen was not ashamed of telling him so. She was a bit afraid to tell him of the crush she had had of him when they were younger, but she supposed that it was all in the past now. And even though her heart felt a slight twinge while he was near...she was sure that Sirius did not return her feelings.

"I actually...fancied you during school..." she blushed. "Quite a bit as it happens."

Sirius bit his lip as he smiled. "You did? I never knew that! I mean, James always said you did, but I never believed him. I always told him we were only friends. He used to tell me I should ask you out in the middle of breakfast, but I thought he was trying to convince me to make a fool out of myself the way he always was over Lily and, well, I think we both know I was way too smart for that. Though I did think of asking you to the Yule Ball. I thought I'd have had more fun going with a friend who wouldn't mind if I flirted all night. I had more fun dancing with you that night than my date."

There had been a brief moment, that night, when Sirius had considered Kathleen. A brief moment, just like now, when he looked into her sparkling eyes and saw all the possibilities. But then he pulled away. Why, he couldn't remember. Because he was frightened, perhaps. Or because he was stupid. Because he would have missed her if things went sour. He could bear to lose his good standing in the eyes of a good many girls, but he didn't think he could bear to lose Kathleen. But now. Now things were different. Now they were in different places. For a moment, Sirius felt that fate had brought them back together.

The reality crashed around him quickly, and he pulled his hand out of hers. Who was he kidding? What woman would ever want him now? Azkaban had not been kind to him, and the dashing good looks of his youth would likely never return. Not completely, anyway. Sirius always pretended he didn't care about that. Always told himself he didn't, but he did. When he looked in the mirror, he didn't recognize himself. Some days, he didn't even feel like himself. And even though he'd been exonerated and the ministry had issued a full and public apology, Sirius knew there were those who still believed him guilty. He's was still stigmatized, ostracized, and he didn't even want to think about all the other wounds Azkaban had left upon him. The nightmares. The memories. The insecurities.

Kathleen would want someone better. She would want someone with less baggage. She would want someone people wouldn't gawk at when he walked down the street. She wouldn't want Sirius. She deserved someone better.

He looked around the restaurant. He had a sudden desire to ask her if she'd believed him guilty. He wanted to know if she had abandoned him, forgotten him, just like so many others. But before he could form the question, his eyes landed on Becca's empty ice cream cup, still half filled with goo that had once been ice cream. He looked up at Kathleen. "Is it just me, or has Becca been in the loo for a very long time? You reckon she's all right?"

Kathleen only realized that Becca had been gone when Sirius mentioned her. Damn that man and his beautiful eyes. Every time she looked into them she found herself getting lost and wandering for would could be days and days at a time in them. Shaking her head she stood and briefly excused herself to the ladies room, but when she went inside Becca was not there. Nor was she behind the counter with the store clerk. Her eyes flashed with fear and she rushed back to Sirius, with hopes that he would help her find her baby.

"She's wandered off," she said frantically. "Oh Sirius, help me find her! Please?!"

Kathleen felt like she might be ill. That she might pass out from a broken heart! Her baby was no in the store and she hadn't the foggiest where she could have wandered off to! Oh her baby, her baby was gone! She could not live without her Becca, could not thrive without that one piece of Jacob she had left!

"Oh Sirius, what kind of mother am I?!" she cried. "I've lost my baby, I shouldn't have let her go to the loo on her own! Oh, my poor baby!"

And then the reality of what had happened had settled in, her daughter had probably wandered off on her own! Merlin when she found her and bathed her with kisses and cuddles, that child was in for the sorest backside England had ever seen!

"It's okay, Leena. I'm sure we'll find her. She can't have gotten far, and she certainly can't have left Diagon Alley. She'll be fine."

Sirius dropped more than enough money on the table to pay for the ice cream and went outside to search for Becca. He called Becca's name up and down the street, but the child didn't appear. Kathleen's panic began to wear off on him. Diagon Alley was perfectly safe, he knew, but Knockturn Alley was not. If she'd gone down there, they'd need to find her quickly... before someone else did.

"You take the left side of the street. I'll take the right. And don't worry. I was an expert wanderer myself when I was young. I know all the best places to look. We'll find her."

Sirius walked up the street, looking in the shops. He expected her to be in the bakery. That's where he'd have been when he was her age, shedding crocodile tears for free sticky buns. But she wasn't there. Neither was she in Flourish and Blotts, or the Magical Menagerie, or Ollivander's. Every time he exited a store, he'd lock eyes with Kathleen and his heart would leap in his chest. He couldn't imagine how terrified she must be. He'd be beside himself if Harry were missing, and Harry was significantly older than Becca and used to looking after himself.

Finally, Sirius stopped at Madam Malkin's robe shop. He saw Becca through the window before he ever went inside. "Kathleen, I've got her!" Sirius called. He pointed toward Becca's form in the window, relief flooding into every inch of him. Then he opened the door and motioned for Kathleen to go inside.

Becca stopped only once, at the Magical Menagerie, to look at the kittens. She petted one and told it, "How do you do?" She wished she could have a kitten. They were so cute, and fuzzy, and soft. The kitten licked her hand, and she laughed. It's tongue felt rough and funny. Becca wished she could stay with the kitten forever. She loved that kitten! She thought about buying it, but she needed to save her money for King Sirius' crown. Maybe she'd ask Mummy if they could get a kitten.

Becca left the Magical Menagerie and skipped into the robe shop. She loved the robe shop. It was her favorite shop. Next to the ice cream shop. And the book store. And the toy store. And the bakery. And the pet shop.

A bell rang as she went inside, but Madam Malkin was busy helping a woman try on a bride's dress. Becca watched from beside the door. The lady was the most beautiful bride Becca had ever seen, except for the pictures she had seen of Mummy. She looked around and saw the Hogwarts robes. She pulled one down and slipped it over her head. It was way too big. She rolled up the sleeves and grabbed the coat hanger and pretended to cast spells. She'd be going to Hogwarts someday, and she was going to be in Ravenclaw, just like Mummy, because that's where all the smart girls went, and Becca was a very, very smart girl. She could already read!

Becca took off the Hogwarts robes and found the bridal section. She found a veil that she could stick in her hair, and looked at herself in the mirror. She closed her eyes and pretended she was a bride. A princess bride. Marrying a prince. A handsome prince. She spun a few times in front of the mirror, looking at herself front and back. She'd make a beautiful bride.

Becca decided to keep wearing the veil, even though it reached all the way to the ground. She didn't want to take it off, but she wanted to get King Sirius' crown and take it back to show him. She was so excited! He was going to love his new crown! The counter was made out of glass and had lots of jewelry inside. There was a little section of crowns, and Becca stood there for a long time, trying to decide which one was the sparkliest. That was the one she would buy for King Sirius. She finally made a decision. The one in the back, on the right. It had white jewels and blue jewels, and a dangling pearl in the middle. That crown would be perfect for King Sirius!

Becca went toward the front of the shop to get Madam Malkin so she could buy her crown, but Madam Malkin was still busy and wasn't very polite when Becca tugged on her skirt.

"Please! I'm in a hurry! And I already know what crown I want to buy."

But Madam Malkin only said, "Sorry, love. You'll have to wait your turn."

Becca didn't want to wait her turn! She wanted to give King Sirius his crown now! But she wanted to be a polite princess, so she waited. And waited. And waited. How long did it take for a bride to find her dress anyway? Becca was already ready to be a bride, and it had only taken a few minutes! She looked in the mirror again. Her veil and her crown went very well together. The bell rang, and Becca looked up to see who was coming into the shop. Maybe there would be a little girl for her to play with! She hoped so! She smiled when she saw it was Mummy and King Sirius! That was even better! Becca ran to Mummy and wrapped her arms around Mummy's waist. She loved Mummy so much! "Look at me, Mummy! I'm a bride!"

Kathleen saw her baby and without any further prompting scooped her up into her arms and twirled her around. Her baby was safe and Sirius had found her! Without another thought she went to the man and kissed him gently on the cheek, wrapping her arms tight around his neck and holding both him and her daughter close. Tears were in her eyes and they began to dribble down her cheeks as she held them both. But then she remembered something important. Her daughter had wandered off on her own accord and now that she was clearly safe she could scold her and not have to worry about causing anymore potential harm.

"Rebecca Adeline Rose!" she snapped. "What was going through your head?! You know better than to wander from me like that?! What if someone had snatched you up and taken you far away from me?! What were you thinking, young lady!"

Her eyes were dark, and she would never swat her in public...but Merlin she had never been so close to wanting to. However Kathleen did not believe in public punishment. At least not the corporeal kind. She had respect for herself as a mother and did not want to be seen as a tyrant among her baby.

"Well," she continued, sternly. "Explain yourself this instant Rebecca!"

Becca tensed. This was all wrong. Mummy was shouting at her. Mummy wasn't supposed to be shouting at her. Mummy was supposed to be proud of her because she was so thoughtful!

Becca's lip began to tremble when Mummy used her middle name. Mummy only used her middle name when she was in Big Trouble, but she hadn't done anything bad! "I wanted to buy King Sirius a crown, like a real king," she whispered. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the two sickles Gran had given her and showed them to Mummy. "I was going to use my birthday money, and I picked out a pretty one, but Madam Malkin was busy with the bride, and she said I'd have to wait my turn, so I waited a real long time, but it was never my turn, but I was polite."

Becca didn't understand! She was being a good princess, but Mummy looked sad and angry all at once. Tears filled Becca's eyes. "Are you mad at me?"

Kathleen felt her heart break as she looked at her baby, she was just so beautiful and to see tears in her eyes made her want to melt into a mummy puddle right then and there. But she knew that she was doing her child no favors by being that way and there could have been a chance that she could have gotten hurt running off like that! What if a Death Eater tried to snatch her up and take her away, what if she had gotten hurt in one of the stores, or had broken something?! There were so many things that could happen and each time one popped into her head she thanked Jesus himself that none of them did.

"Yes I am mad Becca Rose," she said, her voice quivering slightly. "Because I know you know better than to wander away from me in a store, regardless of whether or not it was to buy a present."

And Kathleen felt that it was adorable and sweet that she wanted to buy Sirius a crown, however it could have ended so much worse! And that is what stuck in Kathleen's head. That she could have lost her baby like she had lost Jacob, and that was what made her want to spank her. Just so that she would be too scared to do something so foolish again. Kathleen just could not afford to lose her baby...she just couldn't.

"You are going straight to your room when we get home Becca." she continued sternly.

"No!" Becca wailed. "I don't want to go to my room!" Becca hated being sent to her room, because that meant Mummy was mad at her, and she hated it when Mummy was mad at her. It wasn't fair! Becca didn't even understand why she was in trouble! She hadn't done anything wrong! She was being good! She was being thoughtful!

"I didn't mean to be bad! I only wanted to get King Sirius a crown!" Becca put a hand on Mummy's cheek. She still looked awfully angry. And she didn't want Becca around anymore. She was going to make Becca stay in her room all alone, because Becca was bad, and Mummy was mad at her. "Please don't be mad at me," Becca pleaded as a sob came out of her throat. "I'm sorry! Please don't make me go to my room!"

Becca buried her head in Mummy's shoulder. Her pretty veil flopped over her face, and she liked it that way. She didn't want anyone to see her. She only wanted to be alone. She threw her arms around Mummy's neck and hugged Mummy tight. She didn't want Mummy to be mad at her anymore. They were supposed to go to supper with King Sirius and pretend to be tigers and hunt the waiter and eat elephant! They couldn't do any of that if Becca had to go to her room! And King Sirius would never get his crown! This was awful! It was the worst thing ever! Mummy would probably be mad at her forever!

"I'm sorry," Becca sobbed into Mummy's shoulder. She wanted Mummy to say she wasn't mad anymore and that she loved Becca. "I didn't mean to make you mad! I love you!"

Kathleen held her daughter while she cried, but was not going to back down. Every time she felt herself give in a bit she was back to thinking that something could have hurt her baby. She could have gotten herself snatched up, and Kathleen would rather live with her baby crying on her shoulder then her baby being in heaven with Jacob.

"That's enough Rebecca," she continued. "I love you too, but you still know better than to walk off like that."

And her little one did, it had been a rule that Kathleen had tried to instill in her daughter for years. She did not want someone trying to hurt Becca because of how trustworthy she was, and Kathleen would not be able to handle the pain of losing her if something like that happened. So yes, maybe at the moment Becca would cry and throw a bit of a tantrum...but at least Kathleen was assured her little one would forgive her and be there in the morning.

Taking the veil from her head she placed it down and made sure all of Madam Malkin's robes were returned. Still holding her daughter she sighed, and thanked the shop owner for caring for her child.

"I think you need to say goodnight to Sirius," she continued. "Maybe we can all go to dinner some other time."

Becca couldn't stop crying, even though Mummy told her that was enough, which Becca knew meant to stop. She wanted to do what Mummy said. She wanted to be good. She wanted Mummy to be happy all the time, but how was she supposed to stop crying when she had to go to her room? And when she couldn't buy Sirius a crown? And when they couldn't go eat elephant? How was she supposed to stop crying when her chest felt tight and her throat hurt and her tummy felt like there were little fishies swimming around in it?

Becca sniffled while Mummy took her veil away. Everyone was staring at her, even Madam Malkin and the bride. Staring at her and probably thinking she was bad. Becca cried harder. She wasn't bad! She wasn't! It wasn't fair!

And then Mummy said she had to tell King Sirius goodbye. Becca cried even harder. Didn't Mummy understand that she was sorry? Didn't Mummy care that she was sad? This wasn't fair! She hadn't even done anything wrong! She wanted to go eat elephant with King Sirius!

"No!" Becca cried. "I want to go eat elephant with King Sirius!"

She wriggled down and went to him. He was awfully tall. She hugged his leg because that was the highest she could reach. "It's not fair!" Becca shouted at Mummy. "I only wanted to buy him a crown!" She looked around. Everyone was still staring at her. "Stop looking at me!" Becca screamed, and then she buried her face in Sirius' leg as she cried.

Suddenly she didn't feel sad anymore. She felt angry. Mummy was mean, and Becca hated her! She wanted to scream or throw things and maybe even hit things, and she couldn't make the awful feeling go away. She pulled away from King Sirius. "It's not fair!" she screamed, stomping her foot. She hadn't really meant to do that, but she was just so mad! "I said I was sorry! I want to go eat elephant!"

Kathleen felt her face turn ruby red. Merlin she was so embarrassed. Reaching down she pulled Becca back up into her arms. If Sirius hadn't been standing right there she would have given her a warning swat, however she knew that her friend hated seeing children punished so she was going to save it for when they returned home. However she was not going to let her daughter throw herself into a tantrum.

"Rebecca Adeline," she scolded. "You better calm down this instant or I am going to take you home and spank your behind."

Kathleen never made idle threats, and she always followed through when she told her baby she would do something. Unless of course her baby got hurt, sick, or a promise had to be broken because she just refused to behave properly. And this would be one of those cases. Merlin, she felt like scum. She was sure that Sirius would never want to see her again if he saw the way she was acting towards her child. But she was never one of those parents that could just let her child throw a fit and have their wish granted...it was just something that Kathleen did not have in her.

"Now you have one last chance to say good-bye to Sirius before we just leave and you go to your room with a very sore behind."

Becca was so mad she could hardly stand it. Her fingers felt tingly, and her face was hot, and her tummy and chest both felt twisted up. She felt like she might explode. She hated Mummy! She hated everyone! She screamed and stomped her foot. It wasn't fair! She just wanted to go eat elephant!

"No! It's not fair! I want to stay with King Sirius!" Becca couldn't understand why Mummy was being so mean. Why wouldn't Mummy let her do what she wanted to do? Becca couldn't wait until she was a Mummy. She would be a nice Mummy. She would never make her children go to their room, and she would never, ever spank them.

That was the worst part, that Mummy was going to spank her. Becca didn't want a spanking! Spankings hurt! She was scared of spankings! Why was Mummy being so mean to her? Didn't Mummy love her anymore?

"Why are you doing this to me?" Becca screamed.

Tears poured down her face, and she couldn't make them stop. She could hardly catch her breath, she was crying so hard. She plopped down on the ground and buried her face in her hands. She wished Mummy would pick her up and hug her, but Mummy didn't want her anymore, and Mummy was going to spank her because she was bad and Mummy didn't love her. But she still loved Mummy. She didn't want Mummy to be mad at her. She just wanted Mummy to love her again! Maybe if she said she was sorry. Maybe if she promised to be good, things could go back to how they were, and everyone could be happy again.

Becca looked up at Mummy. "I'm sorry!" she cried. "Can we please go eat elephant? I'll be good! I promise!"

Kathleen shook her head and sighed, pulling her daughter up into her arms once more she turned to Sirius. Sometimes she wondered what the man in front of her was thinking. From their first year at school she had always wondered...always tried to figure it out. They had been so close at one time, her and all the Marauders. Kathleen had been one of those girls that had chosen to be friends with as many people as she could. Hell, she had even gotten on with the Slytherin's from time to time. But Sirius had always been such a puzzle. Whereas she could read a Slytherin like an open book, Sirius had always seemed so closed off to her.

And this was just humiliating, her daughter was throwing a fit and Sirius probably thought she was the coldest parent in the world because she would not give in. Well Kathleen knew her daughter's game and she also knew that if she did give in she would just end up being in an even fouler mood then what she currently found herself in. And Kathleen refused to be sour around her baby girl.

"No Becca," she continued. "I am not telling you again."

And she really wasn't. She was going to give Becca one last chance to calm herself and if she didn't she would say good-bye to Sirius and apparate them home straight away. She looked to Sirius, her eyes shining with apology and bit her lower lip.

"I...really am not like this all the time," she continued. "But...I think we'll have to reschedule that dinner...I'm sorry."

She adjusted Becca on her hip and held her tight so that the little girl would have no chance of wriggling free once more.

Sirius wasn't sure what to think about this sudden turn of events. He'd been an expert wanderer when he was young, and it had never led to explosions like this. Not that he could remember, anyway. Of course, his parents had always been too busy to bother with him much, so their response was usually to breeze into whatever shop he was frequenting at the moment, grab his hand, and pull him away, berating him all the while. He usually had the feeling that they were more upset with him for making them take the time to hunt for him and for embarrassing them than they were concerned that something might have happened to him. He didn't have many experiences with that reaction until he began staying with the Potters. It was much worse, he quickly decided that first time Mr. and Mrs. Potter brought him and James back to Potter manor to be scolded and sent to their rooms to "think about what they did". Knowing he'd put someone he cared about through hell, even if it had only been for a few minutes, made him feel about three inches tall. He stopped wandering after that. Well, when he was with the Potters, anyway. Every other time was a different story.

Mostly, Sirius just felt awkward. He wished he knew what to say to lighten the tension of the moment, but he suspected anything he tried would fall flat. And the last thing he wanted to do was undermine Kathleen in front of her kid. Kids were very perceptive about those sorts of things. In truth, he thought Kathleen was overreacting. It was a simple case of a kid acting like a kid. Nothing had come of Becca's little adventure, and Diagon Alley was a perfectly safe place to wander in. Still it wasn't any of his business. For all he knew, Becca was a hellion who ran her mother ragged, though he doubted it. She seemed perfectly sweet, when she wasn't screaming her head off.

Though Sirius remembered doing that, as well. He rarely cried, and he was far too well-bred to pout, so a good old-fashioned temper tantrum was often the only recourse left to him when things didn't go his way. And it often worked for him. His father and Uncle Alphard were immune to it, but his mother usually gave in quickly, especially when they were in public. She wouldn't for one second want anyone to think that one of the Black boys was anything less than perfectly behaved. Giving in would stop the tantrum quickly - and curtail any potential for humiliation at the hands of her budding tyrant of a son. Still, Sirius had turned out perfectly well. He didn't see what the big deal was. So the kid was angry. Let her be angry. He'd never much liked the school of thought that said children weren't allowed to show emotion.

But, really, what did he know? Parenting a teenager for a few months hardly made him an expert on the subject, especially considering that Harry never gave him any trouble. Not any real trouble, anyway. Sirius wouldn't have a clue what to do if he did, and he certainly wouldn't know what to do with a young child. The best thing he could do now, he decided, was bow out. Hopefully he could at least save the poor girl from a smacking that way. Sirius had never believed in the practice himself, probably because he was raised without it, except for that one time he pushed his luck too far with Uncle Alphard. It had always seemed cruel to him, and he wasn't even convinced that it worked. Never seemed to have much of an effect on James. But Sirius supposed that Kathleen's methods of discipline weren't any of his business, either.

"It's quite all right, Kathleen," Sirius said, surprised by how disappointed he felt. He was looking forward to an evening of reminiscing. He was even more looking forward to an evening of reminiscing with Kathleen. "Perhaps some other time. It might be for the best, anyway. I'm way behind on grading and lesson plans and whatnot." That was a lie. He had his lesson plans written through March, and was caught up on grading until tomorrow when the fourth years turned in their essays. The sole advantage of his frequent insomnia was that he could use the time to get things done. "It was lovely to see you, and nice to meet you, Becca. Send me an owl some time, and perhaps we can try this again."

Part of him wanted to hug Kathleen, but he decided that would be awkward, so he settled for a brief nod and a quick goodbye and left Madam Malkin's. Perhaps he'd go to the Three Broomsticks and have a firewhiskey. Perhaps he'd drop in on Remus and take advantage of his hospitality. Yes, Sirius decided, that was a good plan. That was what he would do, and tell him he'd run into Leena Wayne and that she had the cutest kid Sirius had ever seen... when she wasn't screaming, that was. Sirius turned on the spot and apparated away.

Becca reached for King Sirius as he started to walk away. She tried to get out of Mummy's arms, but Mummy held her tight.

"NO!" she screamed as King Sirius walked out the door. "NOOOO! I want to hunt the waiter!" Becca let out a high-pitched shriek. She wanted to run after him, to make him come back. She kicked her legs and tried to get away from Mummy. She stared out the window at him, screaming for him to come back, but he didn't. He disappeared instead.

"NO!" Becca shrieked again. She hated Mummy for making King Sirius leave. She hated King Sirius for leaving. She hated everything. Everything!

"Put me down!" Becca screamed. "I hate you! I hate everything!" She kept struggling as hard as she could, not even sure why she was doing it. She wanted to stop, but she couldn't. She was too angry. And too sad. "I'm never speaking to you again! Let me go!" She struggled some more, but she couldn't get away. Mummy was too strong. She let out another scream, too angry to even make words any more. She would just scream and cry for the rest of her life. Until King Sirius came back and she could buy him a crown.

She stared out the window, willing him to come back, getting angrier by the second when he didn't come. Stupid window! She hated the window! She hated this day! She hated King Sirius! She hated EVERYTHING!

Suddenly, the glass blew out of the window.

Becca tensed. Her tears stilled. All the anger gave way to wonder. Had she done that?

She turned to look at Mummy, her eyes wide. "Mummy, did you see that? I did magic!"

Kathleen was beyond furious! She was livid, and when it came to being a single mother she knew that was not good! Taking her wand she repaired the window and apologized over and over again to the shop owner and the people who were there. Taking her daughter she stormed out of the shop and continued down Diagon Alley until she found a safe spot for Apparation. Without any warning she left the shopping area with a POP and found herself back in her living room.

Not daring to say a word to her daughter she took her to her bedroom, flicked her wand so that she was in her pajama's, put her into bed and stared down at her. She was so angry at her child, and she refused to spank her while she was angry. Kathleen loved her baby, and she never wanted to hurt her...but when she behaved like a brat there were times where she just wanted to paddle her behind.

"You are going to bed," she said, her voice eerily calm and quiet. "You are going to stay in bed, and you are going to stay in your room and think about what you had done today and how you had acted."

Still looking at her daughter she walked out of the pink, princess, bedroom and closed the door behind her. Feeling tears come to her eyes she sniffled and quickly blinked them away, deciding that at the moment she really needed to start getting ready for bed herself.

Becca flinched when the door closed. She wanted to run to it and open it and follow Mummy wherever she was going, but she knew she wasn't supposed to. When Mummy sent her to her room, she had to stay there, even if she didn't want to. That was what Mummy told her anyway. Tears returned to Becca's eyes. She hadn't cried once since the window exploded. She still wasn't sure how she had done that. She never did. She wished she knew how to control her magic. She couldn't wait to go to Hogwarts and get a real wand. She had a toy wand, but all it did was shoot glittery butterflies out the end. They'd float around her head for a few minutes, and then disappear. She liked her toy wand, and she liked chasing the butterflies, but she wished she could have a real one.

"Mummy!" Becca called. "Mummy, I'll be good now. Please come back!"

Becca went to the door and stuck her fingers through the crack at the bottom, hoping Mummy was out there and would hold her hand. She did that sometimes. She lowered herself down and peered out of the crack. Mummy wasn't out there at all.

"Mummy!" Becca called again as the tears started to fall. She started to feel afraid that Mummy was never going to come back. "Mummy! I'm sorry!"

Becca looked down at her pajamas. She didn't want to wear them. It was too early for bed, anyway. She went to her closet and pulled out her dress-up clothes. She put on her favorite princess dress. It was yellow with lacy sleeves and a ribbon sash and lots of ruffles in the floor-length skirt. She grabbed Sirius' crown from the dresser where Mummy put it and placed it on her head. She sniffled a little and wiped her tears on her quilt. She looked in the mirror. There. She looked like a princess again. A very sad princess. A princess whose Mummy was mean to her for no reason. A princess who was locked away.

In a tower!

By an evil witch!

Yes, that was it!

Becca grabbed the quilt and wrapped it around her, shivering violently. She wasn't really cold, but a princess locked in a tower ought to shiver, she thought. She went to the window and opened it and sat in the window seat, staring out. "Will no one come and rescue me?" she asked the night. "I'm all alone in this tower, and soon the evil witch will return to put me under a spell."

Becca sang a song like the princesses in the stories, because that would make a prince come. He would hear her song and follow it and then see her face and fall in love and come rescue her from this awful place!

Becca look around, and for a moment, she thought her room really was a tower. The pink walls became wet and slimy stone. The carpeted floor became cold and hard. Her bed became a harsh wooden bench. She looked out the window again and imagined she saw jagged rocks stories and stories down, with cold waves crashing on them, because her tower was in the middle of the sea. Becca let out a shudder. How terrible to be in this tower all alone!

She heard footsteps down the hall and hurried away from the window. If the witch saw her there, she'd think she was trying to escape and punish her awfully! The door opened and Becca turned, ready to tell the witch, "Do your worst!"

But it was only Mummy. She came back! Becca had missed her so much! She dropped the quilt and ran to Mummy, throwing her arms around Mummy's waist. "Mummy, you rescued me! I was locked in a tower by an evil witch, and I thought no one would ever come, but you came! I missed you!" She took Mummy's hand. "Come play with me! You can be in the tower with me, but we can't leave, and you have to pretend to be scared of the evil witch, even though she's not really real."

Kathleen had showered and gotten ready for bed, her damp hair sticking to her neck as she went back to Becca's room to go and check on her. Only, when she opened the door and found that Becca was not sleeping she sighed. Why couldn't her daughter see fit to listen to her once? If Jacob was here he would know what to do, her husband had always had a way of speaking with children. He was like Sirius...blushing she shook the thought away and lifted her daughter up into her arms. She knew that Becca was persistent, she had gotten that trait from her mother...but Kathleen was not in the mood to play. She was very tired, and slightly disappointed that she had blown off Sirius. So Kathleen wasn't even mad anymore, she was more or less...sad, by the turn of events.

"It's time for bed Becca," she sighed, softly. "Please do not make me tell you again."

Her night had been changed forever seeing Sirius...and the encounter with him almost made her want to take off her wedding band. Seeing him again made her want to free herself from her past marriage. It had been two years, and the third one was slowly creeping up on her. What was she waiting for? Was she waiting for some miracle that Jacob would come back to life for her? She felt her eyes moisten but she hid it effectively from her baby, not wanting to scare her or anything of that nature.

"You can dream about princesses and dragons tonight," she continued tucking her in. "And tomorrow you may play...but it's time for bed now. Mummy has to clean up the kitchen and go to bed herself, I have work in the morning."

Gently placing one kiss to her nose, one to her cheek, one to her forehead, and one to her lips she stood up.

"Please stay in bed Becca," Kathleen yawned. "It's time to go to dreamland now."