Do You Come Here Often? (Sirius)

It was official. Christian Hill was bored. He couldn't find anyone to talk to. At least no one that wasn't either busy or with their boy or girlfriend. It was Sunday, and since there were no classes, he didn't even have that to do. He had just been wandering the grounds because he couldn't stay cooped up in the Hufflepuff Common room or even the castle for one second longer.

He found himself at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. He'd never been inside, but had always been intrigued by the thought of one day exploring it. Well, it looked like that was going to be today. Christian cheered somewhat. He now had something to do, even if it was by himself.

He looked around for a moment, and seeing no one, stepped into the trees. It was dark, even just past the first of the large trees that stood around the perimiter of the woods. He took out his wand.

"Lumos," he whispered, illuminating the end, and continued along the path. It was slow going at first, as his wand light didn't give him much vision in front of him. But after a few more minutes, it started to get lighter, and he was able to extinguish the light.

Christian stepped into a clearing, blinking rapidly to clear his eyes of the spots that had suddenly appeared before them with the addition of the sunlight. This was kind of cool! There was nothing in the clearing except a few fallen branches, one of which he sat upon. He leaned his head back and looked up at the sky, letting the sun warm his face. He was thinking that if he needed to be alone sometimes, he would use this spot as he didn't think too many people knew about it.

His head snapped back to forward when he heard the snap of a branch. Someone or something was there. He narrowed his light blue eyes, trying to see through the gloom beyond the trees. A moment later, he smiled warmly when he saw the source of the sound.

"Well, looks like I'm not the only one that knows about this place," he said.

It was the sort of day that begged to be spent outside. Bright and warm and perfect. Sirius opened the windows in his office to enjoy the gentle breeze. But instead of grading, he found himself staring out the window. If he were a student, he and his friends would have been out there, dangling their feet in the lake or lounging on the grass. He tried to think if he ever saw professors doing those sorts of things. It seemed like professors weren't supposed to do those sorts of things. Perhaps they had and he simply hadn't noticed.

Sirius didn't care, he decided. He'd never been one to stand on ceremony. If he spent all his time as a teacher worrying about what teachers were supposed to do, he'd end up hating it. Better to be himself and let the chips fall where they may. Sirius made his way down to the grounds and sat near the water's edge. Some students - first years, by the look of them - were splashing nearby and looked mortified when one of them missed and hit him with an icy spray. He pretended to be angry as he came closer, but at the last moment, he splashed back and ended up in their water war. Before he knew it, they had ganged up on him, and he was soaked. He bowed out, laughing, deferring to their prowess, and dried his clothes with a tricky little wand wave.

He wandered off, feeling a sudden desire to climb trees. That, he was sure he was too old for, but days like this made him feel young again. As did being back at Hogwarts. Maybe he'd try it, though he's probably end up falling flat on his back, and he certainly didn't want any students to witness that. He'd go to the forest, he decided. Even if he never set foot in a tree, a walk in the forest would be good for him. He always felt peaceful under the trees, and he happened to know where there was a little stream that was perfect for swimming. He and his friends had discovered the spot after only a few weeks at Hogwarts and spent many restless afternoons swimming there.

Sirius stepped into a familiar clearing and stopped short. Someone was there, a student by the look of him. Sirius leaned against a tree, an amused smirk crossing his face. The kid was lucky Sirius was the one who caught him. Anyone else and he'd likely be in loads of trouble. But Sirius had always thought the dangers of the forest exaggerated, especially this close to the grounds. There were some rather frightening things further in, and he and his friends had even managed to discover a few of them, but nothing much would bother a person here. Bowtruckles, perhaps. Nothing more.

Sirius watched the student in silence for a few moments. He couldn't get a good look at his face. He shifted his weight slightly, and a twig beneath his foot snapped. He stood still as the student looked at him. He recognized him as a Hufflepuff, though he wasn't sure he remembered the boy's name. Christopher, maybe? Hill. That was his last name. Sirius was sure of it. Christopher Hill. No, that didn't sound right. Christian! That was it! Some days he thought he'd never learn all the students' names, but he was doing well all things considered. He knew everyone in his house, and most of the students in the other houses, and the term had barely started.

Sirius stepped out of the shadow and gave Christian a small smile. "Good afternoon, Mr. Hill. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't this forest supposed to be forbidden?"

Christian nodded to Professor Black and leaned his head back to enjoy the sunlight once more. True, he wasn't supposed to be in the forest, but when had that ever stopped a great number of the other students? He didn't see what was so dangerous about the creatures that inhabited the woods this close to the school. In fact, he'd not even heard anything but birds and squirrels.

He lowered his chin again and moved over to make room for the teacher if he chose to sit down. Christian had always considered himself friendly to those that were friendly to him, and he'd never had any problems with Professor Black. He didn't have much use for Astronomy in his NEWT's, so he wasn't in the man's classes, but he was still a good person.

"Well, yes, I have heard that students are technically not supposed to be in the forest, but as I haven't gone very far, I haven't seen any dangerous creatures. They wouldn't be this close to the castle anyway, would they?"

He was kind of interested in seeing a centaur, as he'd heard that they were extremely intelligent and although they didn't really speak to humans all that often, they did sometimes engage in a conversation.

He had also heard that there were Acromantulas in the Forbidden Forest, but didn't really have much interest in searching them out. Christian didn't much care for spiders, and as these could grow to the size of a house, he didn't want to find one. The very thought made him want to shudder.

"What kind of creatures would be this close to the castle, Professor?" he asked and looked up, just in time to see a bowtruckle, which was feeding on something. Christian knew it to be wood lice, as that was a bowtruckle's favorite food. This proved to be entertaining for a moment, since he didn't remember having seen one outside of his Care of Magical creatures class.

He was about to speak again when he saw the Unicorn.

Sirius decided then and there he liked this kid. Not everyone would have been so nonchalant about being discovered out of bounds by a professor. For some professors, that probably would have made it worse, but Sirius respected it. His mouth twisted into an approving smile. Not least because he was trying to imagine the look on Snape's face if he knew Sirius was about to encourage misbehavior. Potentially dangerous misbehavior, at that.

"Yes, I never really understood the paranoia about the forest. As long as you stay near the castle, there's not much exciting happening in here. My friends and I went too far in and found a troll once when we were fourth years. That was an exciting afternoon. I thought we were going to... what?"

Christian was looking at something behind Sirius. He turned to see what it was and gasped. Being this close to a unicorn was a rare event indeed. He almost could have reached out and touched it. It was a yearling, shining silver in the muted sunbeams flowing through the trees. That was probably why it had come so close. The adults never did that.

Sirius reached out a hand and petted its velvety muzzle. He'd had an opportunity to touch a unicorn only once before, in Care of Magical Creatures class, when we was a student. He was amazed anew by how soft it was. Almost unbelievably so. He had a sudden feeling that nothing bad could ever happen to him again, not so long as the unicorn was here. He took a tentative step closer. The unicorn eyed him warily, but didn't run. At this rate, he thought perhaps he could earn its trust. He'd heard of people making unicorns into pets, but it never occurred to him to think he could do such a thing.

He turned to Christian, suddenly aware that he was being left out. "This is more than worth breaking the rules for, isn't it?" Sirius winked. "You should come over here. I think he would let you touch him."

Christian stood and stepped forward slowly, hesitantly. He was afraid that if he got too close, the Unicorn would bolt for the safety of the forest, and he'd never see it again. But it didn't move. He reached its side and put his hand out to stroke it softly. Its coat felt like velvet, and he smiled when it seemed to lean into his touch. He smiled and moved his hand to scratch the magnificent creature behind its ears.

"I have only seen a Unicorn from a distance, and that was because the boys were told to stay back from it. It was still a baby, since it was gold yet. I've never seen one this age. It's rather beautiful."

He backed away from the Unicorn and returned to his perch on the fallen branch. Professor Black was right. That had been worth breaking the rules. More than worth it. He'd been able to see and touch a creature that he'd been told that didn't really care for males, and it had seemed to enjoy it. Perhaps it had never seen a human before and that was why it hadn't been scared of him, but that didn't matter to CJ. He smiled at the Unicorn still standing beside Professor Black.

"I'm willing to bet that this Unicorn is now never going to want to leave your side, Professor. you'll have to take it with you back to the castle and keep it as a pet. I wouldn't reccomend taking it into the castle, however. Maybe leaving it with Hagrid?"

He stood again and brushed himself off, then froze.

"Professor," he whispered. "What is that?" He pointed into the gloomy underbrush, at something that seemed rather large. It made enough noise to scare off the Unicorn, which bounded off in the direction opposite the way it had come.

Sirius' heart leapt into his chest as he watched the unicorn skittering away. The world looked a little darker after it left. He turned toward the sound in the underbrush, raising his wand and moving quickly to place himself between the whatever-it-was and Christian. If it happened to be something dangerous - which Sirius doubted - he would much rather he be the one in the line of fire. He squinted his eyes as the creature stepped out. A thestral. Harmless. He breathed a tiny sigh of relief and lowered his wand.

"It's only a thestral. Nothing to worry about."

Sirius never could get over the eerie look of thestrals. He'd been able to see them since Ian McKinnon was hit with a killing curse while dueling not two feet away from him during a scuffle with Death Eaters. He wasn't the only person Sirius ever saw die, but he was the first. Sirius and James managed to get to his body and apparate back to the Order's headquarters safely, but the day left its mark upon them. He'd hardly known Ian, but seeing thestrals always made Sirius think of him. He curled a lip in disgust as it stepped into the clearing.

He took a few steps back and sat on the log Christian had just vacated, being careful to leave enough space for the boy, should he choose to join his professor. It occurred to him suddenly that Christian might not even be able to see the thestral. It seemed rude to ask, but it also seemed rude to sit here staring at something Christian couldn't see. He thought about the dilemma for only a moment before he found a suitable way around it. "I've been able to see them since I was eighteen. The war, you know." He cocked his head a little as he watched it. "They're ominous looking things, aren't they?"

Christian stepped forward toward the forest again, trying to see what Professor Black was talking about. Then he remembered, he couldn't see Thestrals. He'd never seen anyone die. He flicked his eyes to the teacher and tried to imagine having to watch someone die. He didn't know if he could handle that.

"Um, I wouldn't know, Professor. I can't see Thestrals. I'm sure that you would tell me that it's a good thing that I can't, but it's a little.... disconcerting that there is a creature there that I cannot see, and you can." He stopped in the middle of the clearing as he saw branches moving and heard rustling of leaves and grass, but there was nothing there to move them.

Christian turned away from the forest as he saw that the branches were moving further back from the ones that had originally been disturbed. He moved back over to his seat, sitting next to Professor Black and tried not to think about what the man had had to see to now be able to know what a Thestral looked like.

He attempted to think of something else to talk about, just to get his mind off the eerie thought of having to witness death to view this creature. He didn't want to do that. He didn't even want to think about it. He continued to wrack his brain in silence for topics of discussion. There was only one that continually came to his mind, and he wasn't really concerned about it, just.... curious.

"Professor Black, I know that I am out of bounds, that I'm not supposed to be in the Forbidden Forest, so I have a question. Am I going to have a detention to serve?"

He knew that he couldn't sound more unconcerned if he tried, but he heard just a twinge of worry in his own voice. Hmmm. Maybe there was something that Christian was worried about. The only problem was, he didn't even know what that could be!

Sirius regarded Christian for a moment, working to keep his amusement off of his face. Oh, if Prongs could see him now! Of course Sirius wasn't going to give him detention. It never even would have crossed his mind to do so. He'd be the worlds biggest hypocrite if he did. Besides, he still thought the rule about the forest was a tad ridiculous. He understood it in theory, he supposed. It was easier to make the entire forest off limits than to try to police where students could go inside it, but still. As far as Sirius was concerned, the rule was mostly superfluous. And superfluous rules only served as an invitation to break them.

Sirius' first instinct was to tease. If this were Harry, that was precisely what he would have done, but he didn't know Christian, and some people didn't like to be teased, even harmlessly. Sirius never could quite wrap his head around that. Being too serious took all the fun out of life if you asked him. Still, for all he knew, this kid was worried about the detention. He didn't seem to be, but that could have been a show. Some people did worry about those sorts of things, though Sirius had never been one of them. Detention was hardly anything to get upset about.

Sirius leaned back a little on the log and looked at the blue sky, relishing the warmth of the sunbeams on his face. He'd only just managed to get rid of the pale gauntness he picked up in Azkaban and was looking much more like his old self. Or a slightly older and sadder version of his old self, anyway.

As he looked at Christian, he couldn't quite keep the teasing smile off his face or the touch of mirth out of his voice. Something told him this boy would take a little ribbing just fine. "Well, being in the forest isn't so bad. I always reckoned it was a bit unfair to put a temptation like this right on the grounds and then tell us not to go in. So, if you promise not to tell anyone I let you off, I suppose I can let it slide, just this once, without giving you detention."

Sirius paused for a moment, and then added with mock gravity, "Unless, of course, you think I should."

Christian felt a smirk start on his face and stopped it cold. That wouldn't do. He didn't want to run the risk of Professor Black changing his mind. CJ had plans for the rest of the week and they didn't involve sitting in detention. Although.... he supposed he could be using the time to study. He did have his NEWT's to prepare for, and he still hadn't quite decided if he was going to follow the path that he'd chosen after he left Hogwarts. He was still confued about the things that he wanted to do. He'd heard a few of the sixth years talking. Max Xandex wanted to become a counselor for magical teens like himself, those who had been abandoned or neglected by their families, Ashton Michaels wanted to become a healer. And even Cedric Diggory, another Hufflepuff seventh year had decided to go into the Ministry, which Christian supposed was good, since the other Hufflepuff was about to become a father.

He leaned over and picked a few blades of grass, letting them fall through his fingers as he thought of what he wanted to do when he left school. He'd heard stories of a group that called themselves the Marauders when they were at Hogwarts, led by James Potter, Harry Potter's father, but he didn't know what had become of them. all he had heard was that they were a group of pranksters, like himself, that had been very close while they were here. Christian was best friends with Cedric and Parker Collins, but his pranking had never really gotten so serious that he lived to do it. He was just a random pranker. But it had also served to be a sort of confusion to him when it was because of his pranks that he didn't know what he wanted to do when he left school. He looked to Professor Black.

"Sir, may I ask you a question? Did you know what you wanted to do when you left school? Or did you just not have any idea what you were doing with the NEWT's that you chose?"

Sirius thought about that for a moment. He'd never really known what he wanted to do. He'd always imagined himself doing something terribly glamorous and exciting, like photojournalism or spell research. Only he wasn't really interested in doing the work required to do those things, and anyway, Blacks were expected to be professional philanthropists. It wasn't bad work, he supposed. Making the world a better place with gold, but he never wanted to do that. Despite all the opportunities for infuriating his parents by giving to the wrong causes. Scholarships for muggleborns to go to Hogwarts or werewolf research. That sort of thing.

There had always been a part of him that wanted to be a Stargazer, though that was complicated in its own way. As Astronomy was one of the few fields that interested wizards and muggles alike, it was difficult to get into it without a muggle degree. Several of them, in fact, if Sirius understood the process correctly. The last thing Sirius wanted to do upon graduation was set foot in another school. One where he'd have to hide who he was, no less. It would have driven his parents batty, knowing that their eldest was in a muggle university, but even that wasn't enough motivation to get Sirius excited about the idea. Besides, the reality of the situation was that there had never been much question about what Sirius would do with himself upon graduation.

"No, I never really knew what I wanted to do, but times were different then, so it didn't much matter. By the time I was a seventh year, the war was in full swing. My friends and I joined the resistance the day after we graduated. We'd have joined sooner if we thought for one second Dumbledore and our parents would have let us. If it hadn't been for that, I'm not sure what I'd have done. Why do you ask? Are you having trouble working out what you'd like to do?"

Christian sighed and nodded. Was he ever! His NEWT's were for Mythology, Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, and Defense Against the Dark Arts. What could he possibly do with them? Other than become a teacher himself? Christian had too much mischief in him to do that. He didn't want to have to go through another round of training. Did he? He'd found himself listening intently to all of his teachers when he was in class. He had very high marks in all of his courses.

Christian thought hard for a few moments. Was that what he wanted to be? A professor at Hogwarts? Suddenly the thought was extremely appealing. He didn't know what he would teach, but he'd certainly think of something. Some of the teachers looked as if they were getting ready to retire soon, maybe he could take their place if they chose to allow him to do so.

He turned to Professor Black, now becoming excited. He had an idea that sounded like a verifiable plan to him, and he wanted to see if he could make a go of it. A teacher. Christian James Hill, a teacher. His parents would wonder what on earth had happened to his mind? Why had he not chosen to continue his original plans? Because he'd not chosen his original plans. He'd just gone along with a few of his friends that had chosen what they wanted to do when they were in fifth year and chosing their NEWT classes. Three of them were no longer at Hogwarts. Two had dropped out, and the third had moved away. Cedric was the only one left of the seventh year Hufflepuffs that had chosen to join the Ministry. And Cedric was the only one that had actually wanted to do it. The other four had just gone along with him. Like sheep, Christian thought.

"Professor, what about becoming a Hogwarts teacher? Would my NEWT's allow me to do that?"

His mind turned to his other reason for not wanting to go to the Ministry. There was someone that had taken his heart, and he wanted to stay around her, for as long as he could. And if he went to the Ministry, he wouldn't have a chance with her.

"Lindsey," he whispered to himself, not caring if Professor Black heard him or not.

Sirius nodded, catching a touch of Christian's excitement. He remembered so well the days of endless possibilities. Back when the Marauders thought they could do anything. They thought they'd kill Voldemort in a week. Two, tops. Then they'd marry beautiful women and become crack-shot aurors or healers or something equally impressive and die in some wonderfully macho way like an explosion or a bar fight, or perhaps being shagged to death. That was their plan, anyway.

"Sure you could. The only thing you need to be able to teach is a N.E.W.T. in your subject." Well, that and an opening. And there was also that certain je ne sais quoi - the ability to keep students' attention and command their respect. Sirius still wasn't entirely sure how that was done, except that he was somehow doing it. "Of course, you also have to be able to impress Professor Snape, and they don't generally hire people right out of school. Imagine trying to teach your own friends. If you'd like to teach, the best thing you can do is get a little bit of life experience first." Sirius wished he had a little practical experience in Astronomy. Students were constantly asking why they needed to study it anyway, and he wished he could have shot back with some fantastic story about when he went to the moon or something.

"I'm sure Lindsey will wait for you." Sirius caught Christian's eye and winked. He'd seen the same thing happen his final year - all the people who were dating younger students began to either break up or stress out about breaking up. Most of them made it to spring before that happened, though. Whoever this Lindsey person was, Christian must have been very serious about her. That boded well for him. It was possible to keep up romances after one person graduated; Sirius had seen it done. "I'm sure there are all sorts of things you can do. What N.E.W.T.s are you taking?"

Christian flushed slightly. Lindsey would wait for him? She didn't even know that he liked her. He'd never gotten up the nerve to speak to her outside of class, and he couldn't even talk to her there. He was hopless. He just had the biggest crush on her, and she didn't even know that he was alive, of that Christian was sure. He shook his head, his brown hair falling into his eyes as he did.

"Lindsey has no reason to wait for me. She doesn't even know that I'm at this school," he said. "As for my NEWT's, I'm taking Mythology, Potions, Charms, Transfiguration and Defense Against The Dark Arts. Somehow I don't think that many of them are going to be of much help to me in becoming a teacher." He gave Professor Black a crooked grin. He honestly didn't think that any of his NEWT's would be of a help. He didn't see what career he could have with them, unless it was his choice at the Ministry. And he was finding that he didn't really want to do that any longer. He was feeling that he wanted to be a teacher more than anything he'd ever done in his life.

He looked down at the grass blankly, trying to think of a teaching position that he would be able to study for when he left Hogwarts using the NEWT's that he'd chosen after his fifth year. Why had he chosen these?! Now it was too late for him to change them and he didn't have a chance of any type of career.

"Is there any type of post that I could use them for? Any type at all?"

Sirius thought for a moment. "There are loads of things you can do with those N.E.W.T.s. You made great choices. With Mythology, you could work for a museum, or maybe even go into archeology. Explore pyramids and that sort of thing. That would be great fun! You could look into healing. They like for their trainees to have Herbology, but if your marks in everything else are high, you might be able to convince one of your professors to plead your case. With potions, you could be an apothecary. It's not particularly glamorous, but it's steady and solid. You could certainly do worse for yourself. With charms and transfiguration, you could do spell research, or be a curse-breaker. Gringotts is nearly always looking for those, and Mythology would help you there as well. Then there's always the Ministry.

"Of course, that's just off the top of my head. Give me a little time to do some research, and I'm sure I can find some other things as well. Though I'd go for curse breaking if it were me. It's a very rugged sort of profession. Girls will love it. You'd certainly have Lindsey's attention then."

Sirius spared a glance for Christian to gauge his mood, trying to work out if he'd be in the mood to talk about this girl. That was far more exciting that talking about N.E.W.T.s.

"You shouldn't fret about her too much. A girl who doesn't know you're alive is not so bad as a girl who hates you!" he said cheerfully, clapping Christan on the shoulder. "My best mate when I was young used to run around pining after this particular girl. Lily. The first time he saw her, he decided he was going to marry her someday. Only problem was, she couldn't stand him. The Marauders - that's what my friends and I called ourselves - we all thought it was a lost cause, but he never would give up. He won her in the end. Married her and everything. Quite an accomplishment, that. A girl not knowing who you are is easy, though. You just have to work out how to put yourself on the map. The trick is self-confidence, and I think you've got plenty of that. So the question now is how are you going to get this girl's attention?"

Christian's pale blue eyes widned. How was he going to get Lindsey's attention? Who was he kidding?! He didn't have a chance in Hell with her. He knew that she didn't date below her class, and CJ felt that he definitely fell into that category. He wasn't pureblood, although he didn't know if that mattered to her or not. But he had heard from some of the other Hufflepuffs talking about her, and they all said that she was high maintenence. He had to agree, but he was willing to pay whatever it took for her upkeep.

He smiled faintly at the thought of what that price would be. It didn't matter to him, he knew that. But he had to check to see if he had that amount. That part made him grin.

"Sorry, just thinking about something to do with Lindsey. Not important, really, since I know that I don't qualify to be worthy of her." Now he frowned. What had happened to the thoughts he'd just been having about paying her price?! Why had they all of a sudden flown from his head. He wanted them back in there! They were the only thing that gave him the hope of being with Lindsey Vanderbilt.

He stood up and started pacing. Now he was becoming frantic. He needed to figure out what kind of career he was going to have when he left Hogwarts, he needed to have a some sort of plan with what to do with his life. It just sort of saddened him that he might never have a relationship while he was still at Hogwarts. And out of all his friends, he seemed to be the only one that was still single.

"I'm hopeless, aren't I, Sir?"

Sirius held in a chuckle. He didn't want Christian to think he was amused by his predicament. It wasn't that so much; more that it reminded him so strongly of James trying to win Lily. How many hours had Sirius spent listening to his best mate go off on similar rants? Far too many to count.

Some things never changed, he supposed. It was one of the things he loved about working with teenagers. They all lived their life with such passion. Lost in a frantic world of ideals and emotions and possibilities. Sirius wasn't sure when that changed - his journey to adulthood had hardly been typical, after all - but Sirius was convinced that people were the most themselves during their teenager years, before work and duty and conformity and expectation mellowed them and settled them down. It was a good thing, he supposed, to mellow. Natural, anyway. But there was a touch of sadness in the something lost.

"Nah, you're not hopeless. I've seen worse. You're passionate. That's a good thing. Things aren't worth doing unless you're passionate about them."

Sirius smiled, remembering all the passion he'd once had... before Azkaban defeated him. It was starting to come back slowly - the passion, the zest for life. He was beginning to notice it in small ways, hope trickling in where there had been a drought for so long. Harry helped. That kid would probably never know how much he meant to Sirius. How just seeing him, just being reminded that he was there, brightened Sirius' entire day.

Sirius turned his attentions back more fully to the matter at hand. Something Christian had said nagged at him. "What makes you think you don't qualify to be worthy of Lindsey?

How was he not worthy of her? Where to start?! Christian shook his head and turned around when he reached the end of his path and went the other way.

"She's a Pureblood. I'm not. She's popular, I have a small group of friends. She is so incredibly beautiful, and I just fall over my feet thinking about her. Why would she ever want to be with me?" He continued pacing until he started to feel dizzy and stopped, turning back to Professor Black and sitting again.

He wished that he knew what to do with his life, what to do with his NEWT's, what to do, period. Life had seemed so hard when he was eleven, and just starting Hogwarts, but now he was a seventh year, and about to leave the school. He knew that his life had been anything but hard when he'd not been interested in Lindsey Vanderbilt, and when his biggest concern was whether he was going to pass Transfiguration, not what he was going to do when he left school. But like all others, Christian had to grow up. He had to grow, fall in love, and go out into the world to make a place for himself. But he hadn't expected falling in love to be so...... heartbreaking.

He groaned and tried to turn his thoughts back to his choice of career. Some of them sounded pretty good, especially the Archeology and Curse Breaker. Hell, if he played his cards right, he could get himself blown to bits and not have to think about....

SHUT UP, CHRISTIAN JAMES HILL! he yelled at himself in his head. No girl would care about him if he thought like that. He sighed.

"So, what other kinds of things would I need for some of the choices you gave me?"

Sirius regarded Christian out of the corner of his eye. So they were back to N.E.W.T.s, then. Sirius thought discussing this Lindsey person was much more interesting, but he recognized a lost cause when he saw one. If this were Harry, or one of Harry's friends, or any of the other students he'd managed to forge some sort of relationship with, Sirius might have pushed the issue; tried to talk some sense into him. Or at least some confidence. But Sirius didn't know Christian, and besides, when he was young he wouldn't have appreciated a teacher butting into his private affairs. He wouldn't even appreciate that now.

Sirius had never gone in for the idea that people could be unworthy of one another. People were just people, as far as he was concerned. That was always the root of the trouble between him and the rest of his family. Even when he was small, he simply could not stomach the idea that what was essentially an accident of birth - pureblood, half-blood, muggleborn - made a person better than any other person. What they did, the choices they made, the sort of person they were, that always seemed far more important to Sirius. He wanted to say that, but he doubted it would do any good. It sounded like Lindsey was the one he needed to be telling that to, and even then, it probably wouldn't help. Centuries of tradition and prejudice could hardly be erased by one person.

Sirius wished he could work out how to talk up Christian's confidence. Of course, confidence had never been a problem for Sirius. Not when he was young anyway. Now was a different story. When he was young, though, he had it in spades. Might have had too much of it, actually. He'd never have gone chasing after a girl who didn't want him. If a girl didn't want to be with him, that was her loss, Sirius reckoned. There were plenty of other girls who did. Of course, it had never really happened that there was a girl who didn't want to be with Sirius. Most of them jumped at the chance, and Sirius was sorry to admit that he wasn't always the most sensitive about it. Mostly his insensitivity had been born out of cluelessness, not cruelty. Having grown up being constantly told he wasn't good enough, it was a bit of an adjustment to come to Hogwarts and suddenly find himself adored.

"For archeology, all you'd need to do is get yourself hired by some sort of sponsor. A museum or a historical society. Muggles do archeology as well, and they have to get degrees in muggle universities, but wizards usually stick to magical sites and the like, so you don't need to worry with that unless you just want to. A good knowledge of mythology will help you. If you wanted to be a healer, as I said, you'd have to get someone to plead your case for you, since you haven't got Herbology. Professor Snape or Professor Wallace would be the obvious choices there, or perhaps your Head of House. You'd need to show that you're willing to study to fill the gaps not having a N.E.W.T. leaves you with. Even then there are no promises. Healing is difficult under the best of circumstances. Still, I've heard of them making exceptions.

"To be honest, I always thought it was rather silly to make students choose their professions so early. How many people really know what they want to be when they're fifteen, anyway? I wanted to be a professional quidditch player when I was fifteen. Anyhow, what else did I say? Oh, right, apothecary. To be an apothecary, you'd have to take on an apprenticeship with a potions master. They usually last about three years. Professor Snape could help you out with that, I'm sure. I also said the Ministry, didn't I? There, it's just a matter of applying.

"I know working for the Ministry sounds boring, but they're not all mindless bureaucrats. There's Spell Research and International Cooperation, or being an Unspeakable. I've a friend who's an Unspeakable. Perhaps I could put you in contact with her. I've a feeling there was one more, but I've forgotten. Anyway, the point is that there are plenty of possibilities. You've just got to be creative enough to find them."

Christian thought about this for a few minutes. Possibilities? He hadn't told anyone, but he wanted to find a career that he would be happy with for his entire life, that much was a given, but he also wanted one that would make him more confident, and in his mind, more worthy of Lindsey. That was why he'd chosen the Ministry in the first place, but now, the idea of working there didn't seem so appealing. At least not in Muggle Relations. That seemed to be the most boring department, and from what he'd heard, there were only two Ministry members working there at the moment anyway. He wanted to be somewhere with excitement, something to do all the time, not sitting at a desk, making paper airplanes and flying them around the office out of boredom.

He bit his lip, wondering which of the choices Professor Black had suggested sounded best to him. He didn't know if he wanted to be a Healer, knowing that he'd have to have another NEWT that he wasn't currently taking, and Herbology didn't agree with him all that well. Mythology was his strong point, he thought that maybe a Curse Breaker would be most appealing. If not that, then Archeology. The problem with Archeology was that he didn't know of anyone that would be able to sponsor him. He certainly didn't want to go through a Muggle University and have to take classes on how to do things without Magic. He was a wizard. What was the point of that? Granted, he was the only wizard in his family, ever.

He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Now he knew why the school wanted students to choose their NEWT's in fifth year. To drive them mad! There was no way that he was going to prove himself worthy of Lindsey Vanderbilt with the ones that he'd chosen. Christian thought that maybe he should just give up on the idea of being with her at all. He had no chance, and he knew it. He really was just a lowly Muggleborn, trying to compete with all the Purebloods that she had to choose from. Even a Half-blood would be more worthy of someone like her, and he knew it.

Christian sighed. Maybe he should just continue with his current plans. Subject himself to the Muggle Relations, and a lonely life of boredom. It looked as if that was where he was heading anyway. Christian Hill, once again, playing it safe. Never taking chances with anything. Hell, even his NEWT's showed how much of a wuss he was! They showed that he didn't take any chance other than playing an occasional practical joke, or in the case of today, heading into the Forbidden Forrest. How pathetic.

NO! He was finished with taking the safe route. Dammit, he was going to do the most dangerous of those choices. That would be Curse Breaker. He wondered what, specifically, he would have to do to become that. He would be willing to take another few NEWT's to get that position. Even if it meant that he'd still be studying after he left Hogwarts.

"Professor, if I said I wanted to become a Curse Breaker, what else would I have to have to get there? How much more schooling would I need? Because I'm done playing it safe. I want some adventure in my life, and I want to prove myself to Lindsey."

"Now you're talking!" Sirius said approvingly. This was the sort of talk he'd been waiting for. A person had to go out and grab what they wanted in life; they couldn't just sit around waiting for life to happen to them.

"All you have to do to be a curse breaker is apply to Gringott's. Mostly what they're looking for is creativity and the ability to stay cool in crisis and think quickly on your feet. They don't care about your N.E.W.T.s so much. Goblins don't go in much for pretension. They're only interested in your ability to do the job and make them money. They'll test you, though, so you'll need to be prepared. I could help you, if you like."

Sirius thought for a split second. He hoped he wasn't about to shatter the confidence Christian had just gained. He tried to think of any easy and harmless curse that the boy could break to begin practicing. He also wanted to catch him a little off guard. Check his reaction. He decided on a herbicide curse. Relatively weak, combined with a growing curse.

He grabbed his wand and performed the silent magic, aiming it as close to the center of the clearing as he could. The effect was immediate. The grass withered and turned brown. The circle of death began to grow out in concentric circles, like ripples from a disturbance in a pond. Sirius could stop the curse easily enough if Christian couldn't, but he was quite sure Christian could. The boy was obviously capable. He only needed to prove that to himself.

"Break the curse," Sirius ordered. "And I'd suggest doing it quickly, before it gets to the trees."

Break the curse? Christian's blue eyes looked around and widened when he saw that the grass in the clearing was dying slowly, in a circle that seemed to be spreading toward the forest. He'd not even known what Professor Black had been doing when he'd drawn his wand. He immediately drew his own and struggled to think of what to use to break this curse. The only thing that he could think of was....

Fintite Incantatum! he called in his mind. He was surprised to see that it worked. He'd thought that it would be harder than that to break a curse, but knew that he'd have to face much harder ones than that if he wanted to become a Curse Breaker. Funnily enough, he didn't feel that much of an accomplishment. He thought the curse was too easy, but wouldn't say that to Professor Black, he might decide to start a fire in the forest and keep it from being able to be put out with just a simple spell.

Christian got high marks in all his classes, but he was going to need a bit of training if he were going to become a Curse Breaker. This one had been simple, and although it had done a small bit of damage to the clearing, Christian knew that it would have done much more if he'd not thought to try to use the simplest spell he could think of. What was the saying? Sometimes the best solution is the simplest one? Well, in this case it was certainly true.

"Well," he sighed with a tiny bit of relief. "I'm glad that you didn't make my first curse harder to break than that. I know that Curse Breakers have to do a lot of work to break some of the rubbish that gets put on things."

Sirius gave an encouraging smile. "That curse wasn't as easy to break as you think it was. You've got a talent for it. You did very well, and no mistake. Kept cool, acted quickly and decisively, and tried the easiest things first. That's exactly what you're supposed to do."

Sirius had put some thought into being a curse breaker once. It seemed like it would be an exciting sort of thing to do, and it was so very much not the sort of thing he was supposed to do. He'd even gone so far as to meet with the goblins and go through a trial. It hadn't been nearly as easy as the curse he'd just set for Christian, but then, he was trying to help Christian, not put him off the job. Sirius was accepted into the program, but he decided he needed to stay and fight for the Order instead. But sometimes he wondered what might have happened if he'd gone. Would things have turned out differently?

Probably not.

The prophecy still would have been made. Voldemort still would have marked the Potters. And Sirius probably would have come running back to England the second they asked him, and they almost certainly would have asked him. Sometimes it was comforting to think that the things that had happened in his life were all somehow fated, and that different choices on his part wouldn't have changed things. Because then none of it was his fault. Then he had nothing to feel guilty about.

He usually didn't think that way, but he almost wished he could. Because there was one choice, he knew, that would have changed everything, but he couldn't go back, and he couldn't fix it, so what was the point of playing the what-if game? There wasn't any point, that's what.

Sirius waved his wand and fresh grass grew to cover what he had killed and looked up at Christian. "So, I know lots of curses. Would you like me to help you practice?"

Christian nodded. He would appreciate all the help he could get. He didn't even know what all was required for one to become a Curse Breaker, and he wanted to learn as many of the counter curses as he could. He would need a lot of practice for that to happen. He stood and readied his wand again in case Professor Black decided to send out another unexpected curse. He was nervous now, since he'd agreed to the man's help with curses.

He swallowed hard, wondering if he was making a mistake with asking for help, since he didn't really know a lot of counter curses yet. Or did he? Finite Incantatem was one thing, but there had to be others that he knew. What had he taken Defense Against The Dark Arts for? It surely had to be a help against some of the curses. He must have learned something in the class, since he'd spent so much time in there.

Looking around the clearing, Christian saw that nothing was happening to the trees, grass or anything else around them, and he relaxed a bit. He sat back down on the log, turning to teacher and meeting his eyes.

"You didn't mean that you were instantly going to start off with the curses, right? You were only asking if I wanted the help first?"

Sirius watched Christian come to his decision and felt silently proud. It was odd, this teaching thing. An hour ago, he didn't know his kid from Adam, and now he was proud of him for going after his dreams. Things like that were always happening. It was a little frightening sometimes to think of his life touching the lives of so many others. When he thought of the power and influence his own teachers had on him, the awesome weight of the responsibility settled heavily on his consciousness. He wouldn't have traded it, he didn't think. He loved it far more than he ever would have expected, but still. In moments like these, when it all came home, he felt like an awfully small person trying to live up to an awfully big calling.

Sirius chuckled at Christian's questions, not quite able to hold it in this time. "No, I was thinking we should start slow. Of course, I could always just start shooting curses at your head, but that wouldn't help you much. Curse breaking isn't like dueling. It's more like problem-solving. The things you're likely to run into will be cursed items or traps that have been set. That sort of thing. If you happen to set a curse off, then you might end up having to defend yourself very quickly, but otherwise, you'll mostly need to know how to get your bearings, test things out, see what you're up against. That sort of thing. Do you know how to do diagnostics? If you don't, that will be the best place to start."

Diagnostics? Christian tilted his head to the side quizically. He'd never heard of the term. At least not when it came to magic. He shook his head, and admitted that he didn't know how to do them.

"But I'm more than willing to learn," he added, brushing his hair back from his forehead. He'd not noticed that a breeze had been blowing through the clearing, but he was rather pleased that it had as he found that he was sweating lightly, and he believed that had something to do with how nervous he was a moment ago. He turned his face toward the breeze, letting it blow over his face and cool him down.

Now that he knew that Professor Black wasn't going to expect him to stop a curse that could blast through stone right away, he managed to calm his heart rate, breathing and was able to concentrate on what was going on in the present time. Of course, he'd need to work on his nerves as well as his counter curse knowledge. He'd need nerves of steel to become a Curse Breaker. Otherwise, he'd chicken out when he faced almost certain death for the first time.

Hmmm...... Nerves of steel. Maybe he could use that in his pranks as well. Some of them were rather childish. But then he remembered where he was and what it was that he was trying to learn, and if he wanted to be taught, he needed to pay attention.

"So, where do we start, Sir?"

Christian